Monday, August 16, 2010

The O-file

(The O-file: the CCR goes inside the president’s mind to see what he is not really saying.)


“But let me be clear...” is how I like to start all of my “Mr. TelePrompter” speeches when I know that the American public is not going to like what I am about to say or do. In this case, over 68% of the public thinks that building a mosque just two blocks from hallowed 9/11 Ground Zero is unacceptable and unconscionable.

The critics of my supporting this mosque must be mouth-breathing religious bigots. After all, most New Yorkers are left leaning and would vote for me regardless of what I say or do. That’s what I like about New Yorkers...they don’t like to crack eggs and they have a short attention span. How many actually really remember 9/11? How many remember how the country came together after 9/11? How many are conservatives that would deny my Muslim brothers the ability to construct this possible temple of Christian/Jewish intolerance on sacred ground?

Look, I support this travesty under the guise of “religious freedom.” (I know that’s a weak defense, but it’s the best I can do.) Even though there are already over 100 mosques in New York City, why should this one cause a problem? I mean, it’s not like Osama is going to put a picture of it on the front page of the paper and state that this is the only safe building in the city not subject to being blown up in the next terrorist attack. And for an individual who was schooled in the Muslim tradition as a kid, I am just recognizing some of my diverse roots. Also, I am not a very religious person...especially after being trained by Rev. Wright in anti-Americanism. Just check out how many times I have been inside a church since being elected. If the choice is between church or golf on Sunday, you know where I will be!

Some -- especially the families of 9/11 victims -- feel that my action is insensitive. Look, I never campaigned on sensitivities or sensibilities In fact, if you look at all of the other actions I have taken in the past year, you will see that I really don’t have a good track record on doing what is right by the American people. That’s okay, since I am having a good time enjoying the trappings of just being president, flying around in Air Force One to raise Democrat campaign bucks, sojourning on Martha’s Vineyard with my rich Hollywood friends, and “vacationing” for 27 hours on the Gulf Coast to prove that I really care about the BP oil spill. See, my presidency is all about the photo-op. Oh, and don’t’s also about playing golf almost every week!

Yes, let the people and politicians wail. Let them call me uncaring. Let them think that my actions are provocative. Let them just remember one thing...I am the Anointed One, the Bumbler-in-Chief, and the One Chosen who can do whatever he wants. It doesn’t make any difference what the American people, politicians or wimpy New Yorkers think. Just remember, the agenda is always about ME and what I want to do.

And if my good buddies in the New York labor unions go on strike or refuse to participate in the construction of this unholy symbol on holy land, then I’ll call out the National Guard. We’ll have more folks guarding this construction site than what is attempting to keep illegal aliens from entering the country from Mexico.
the CCR