Sunday, September 5, 2010

ZAP! #23 from the CCR

Begin forwarded message:
From: Mark Holbrook <>
Date: September 5, 2010 4:28:28 PM CDT
To: Mark Holbrook <>
Subject: ZAP! #23 from the CCR

ZAP! #23....September 5, 2010

Are you interested in performing an exercise in futility? Need to feel wanted, only to be left abandoned? Still believe in the tooth fairy?
If you meet these qualifications, then you should shuffle on down to city hall and be the first to speak Thursday night (09-09-10) at the "public input" session for the 2010-11 city budget. And while you are feeling good about offering cost saving measures and decrying the multitude of tax increases included in the budget proposal, just remember one thing: It doesn't matter what you think! The budget will be adopted September 23rd and it would be a miracle if any citizen suggestions have been incorporated in the document.
You see, the budget has already been carved on the stone tablets of financial irresponsibility by the city manager and council. If you don't think paying the Capo of the Lubbock Mafia (city manager) over $428,000 in salary and benefits, then provide us with your definition of financial irresponsibility. Actually, your appearance before the council to discuss the budget will only reinforce the charade being perpetrated by them on the unwashed masses.
Additional evidence of this charade is the e-mail-blast routed to a large group of citizens by one very loquacious council member who dreams about "wanting to be mayor." In his cutesy note asking for budget priorities, he errs with his constant leaping on both sides of an issue...a common trait he utilizes while waxing redundantly. He reflects that he wants to "keep parks and libraries open." Has he already forgotten that two swimming pools and two branch libraries have been closed? Where was the e-mail for citizen's input on these matters before the decisions were made? (Maybe the bulldozers were quicker than his e-mail provided when the pools were dug up in a clandestine manner over a weekend.)
He casually mentions a "proposed adjustment to the tax rate." (Cute word...adjustment.) Has his computer blocked out the increase? Or, has he lapsed into another linguistic coma since he has already voted for at least two tax increases that are included in the proposed budget? As a side note, he has also been identified as the architect of the city manager's bodacious salary and benefits package that has been featured in the national media.
If you still desire to provide input at the budget hearing, then allow us to provide a few pointers on how to approach the subject: 1) Be calm, cool and collected; 2) Identify specific shortcomings in the budget; 3) Detail areas where the budget should be excised.
Finally, close your remarks with the gentle reminder that you do not suffer from, or are being treated for Voter-ADD. And your personal physician has reflected that you will not lapse into a traumatic case of voter-dementia during the April-May political season.

Ringtail Productions Limited
LAWYER STUFF: ZAP! is a timely means (via bcc: e-mail to protect your address) to inform readers of the Controversial Committee Report (the CCR) about potential sacred cows that need butchering. ZAP! is published by Mark Holbrook who everyone knows -- with the exception of a couple apathetic slugs whose IQ equals their shoe size -- is Mike Howard. Any reference to persons deceased is purely out of respect. For those still living, draw your own conclusions. Get in line if you want to sue or complain. Better yet, call someone who might really care. Responses to this e-mail (markholbrook13 must meet at least one of the following criteria: humorous, cat kicking, or not libelous. Simple requirements for simple readers...that's our philosophy. Permission is granted to copy, fax or e-mail this material to a friend, associate or someone you really don't like.