Tuesday, November 22, 2011


IISD Admin Lunchroom Chatter #9

Nosher #1: Do you sometimes believe that those charged with running this asylum should be reclassified as inmates? Really, with as many major and significant problems that we face, a board member wants to count pencil sharpeners!?

Nosher #2: Tell me about it. With all the other redundant, non-essential paperwork flooding our desks, we have to complete a pencil sharpener survey. This certainly takes time away from doing what use to be important...teaching the kids.

Nosher #1: Well, I know that I will sleep better -- and the kids should be smarter too -- knowing that the Irving ISD has a total of 2,268 pencil sharpeners system-wide. However, this survey presents another troubling problem for the Super.

Nosher #2: What’s that?

Nosher #1: We might have to propose a $250 million bond issue to provide for the current demographics and political correctness of all pencil sharpeners on campuses. Maybe even hire a consultant for $150,000 to interview all the kids. Right now, there are 181 rooms that do not even have a sharpener! And if that wasn’t bad enough, there are 432 more electric sharpeners than the old manual type.

Nosher #2: Yes, all those without electric sharpeners and those not having one on their desk will probably send notes to all the frequent ‘community activist’ that appear before the board to demand that pencil sharpener equality be established...immediately.

Nosher #1: And knowing this board, the order for 613 new electric sharpeners will be approved before the president’s gavel even hits the desk. After all, this board always aims to appease the ‘squeaky wheels’ of the community.

A note from counsel: These “candid” lunchroom conversations have been injected with fabricated nouns, verbs, adjectives, conjunctions, adverbs, modifiers and maybe a few dangling participles. Mark Holbrook