Wednesday, March 14, 2012

ZAP! #81: Party Time

Happy Me!

This day represents a milestone for me, but feels more like a kidney stone. Regardless, this is the only time that I will ever turn 70-years old.

And with turning 70, I am now granted all the rights, privileges and respect due a senior citizen who has progressed to the next plateau...Geezer status. Be assured, I will utilize and incorporate all Geezer activities, benefits, traits and privileges into my daily routine.

Here are just a few of the newfound advantages on my turning 70:

State my opinion on any topic without remorse or regret knowing that I am right.

Understanding that political correctness died yesterday.

Realizing that passing gas will not be limited to my vehicle.

Allow the religious community to tend to suffering fools.

Reflect that my medical conditions are topics for the public domain.

If I don’t want to do something, then I didn’t hear you ask.

I don’t forget things...I choose not to remember.

Bingo is an active sport and does promote cardiovascular health.

BBQ is one of the basic food groups and should be eaten as often as possible.

Metamucil is my preferred drink of choice.

I’m not a creature of habit...things just have to be done a certain way.

My dog can pee on your leg if you are a politician and I grant him permission.

Siblings are designed to be embarrassed around Geezers.

Shaving on Sundays is optional.

My left car blinker can stay on as long as I desire it to.

After catching my breath, I’ll find out where my ‘get up and go’ got up and went.

Being Cajun means never having to say you are sorry.

That wet spot on my jeans is spilled iced tea.

So, don’t worry about me. I’ve got everything under control now. This age thing is for those who are counting the years until they retire. Me, I’m counting the years until my next milestone...75-years old. By then, it will probably feel like a gallstone!

……………Mark Holbrook 03.14.12