Monday, June 4, 2012

ER #40: Primetime Doddering

City Hall Elevator Rumblings #40
Rider #1:  Have you heard the good news?  It’s really amazing.  ABC television is contracting with the city to produce a new reality program this summer.  ABC predicts that their new Irving reality show will be better than watching an MMA smack down match between “Jersey Shores” and “The Kardashians.”
Rider #2:  Wow!  I was wondering how long it would take before one of the major networks recognized the entertainment value of filming city council work sessions, spats, ego clashes, and meetings.  The last work session where the group -- those still pushing the flawed Entertainment Center agreement -- attempted to circumvent the city staff and attorney advisements by discussing a possible “new” agreement proposal from the LCG money-hucksters was a classic.
Rider #1:  Yes, that meeting was a real hair puller by those who still haven’t gotten over the last two city elections!  The new reality show, hopefully, will feature all of the political action, backbiting and snarky comments by these Kool-Aid sipping folks.  The feuding factions will be divided into two teams -- “Voters Speaking” and “Doddering Cinco” -- that will square off each week to see who has the best interest of Irving citizens at heart.  The working title for this reality program will be: “Are You Smarter Than A Voter?”  
Rider #2:  Good title.  The “Doddering Cinco” lost another team member the last city election, but still believe that listening to special interest groups and campaign contributors trumps what voters actually expect from them.  Of course, their number could change again after the run-off election on June 23rd.
Rider #1:  The stakes are high for voters in this run-off election.  If Voters Speaking does not gain another council seat, then they would be forced to sip Kool-Aid and listen to hours of LCG/Barnett/ Page/Cotton/Margulies and ex-mayor Gears fluffy talking points while viewing PowerPoint presentations of pretty architectural drawings of the financially unsound $250 million Entertainment Center in future meetings.
Rider #2:  Isn’t it bad enough we have to listen to all this tired rhetoric by the Doddering Cinco during a regular meeting?  Surely, it would be real punishment for voters to have to endure it again on this ABC reality program...especially since Standard and Poor’s stated that the Doddering Cincos case for funding the $250 million Entertainment Center is seriously and financially flawed. 
Rider #1:  You know the television market...ABC is like the Doddering Cinco.  They will do anything for ratings and revenues.
A note from counsel: These “candid” elevator conversations have been injected with fabricated nouns, verbs, adjectives, conjunctions, adverbs, modifiers and maybe a few dangling participles….Mark Holbrook