Saturday, June 29, 2013

IISD #38: Six Guns Blazing

IISD Admin Lunchroom Chatter #32

Nosher #1:  Well, the big “High Noon” showdown for the IISD High Sheriff is scheduled for Monday.  The High Sheriff’s new board-posse is ready to quickdraw on his employment status.  Do you think the sheriff will be able to ride out of town with his saddlebags stuffed with loot from the Citizen’s Bank of Taxes that he might heist on leaving?  After all, his old board-posse (Huffstetler, Craig, V. Jones, and Christian) provided him with a seemly agreement-in-perpetuity to raid the bank over the past several years.

Nosher #2:  Right now, my only concern is how much popcorn to bring to this showdown on Main Street.  I think the posturing and upcoming hours of incessant off-topic blathering regarding the sheriff’s personality and ethnicity will shadow any comments regarding his performance and how he pistol whipped his old board-posse into submission.  As far as what the new board-posse should or would pay him to ride into the sunset, it really steams me if Citizen’s Bank of Taxes will be raided for any bonus bucks.  I wish there was a way to have the old board-posse boot the bill for their law breaking precedents.  

Nosher #1:  Fat chance of that happening!  We would have to get in line behind some revenuers chasing members of the old board-posse first.  It’s clear that the old board-posse couldn’t run an old west saloon without getting drunk on their own sarsaparilla.  And in that state of mind, they never could distinguish between the High Sheriff’s personality and his inability to keep his outlaw deputies at bay or the citizen herd corralled.

Nosher #2:  Here’s a thought.  We should form a posse-auxiliary consulting group, round up the strays of the High Sheriff’s job applicant pool and ask $100,000 to identify a new sheriff for the new board-posse.  Bet we could complete the task using resumes already on hand and reviewed in the same length of time (one month?) that it takes to round up all the curriculum-dogies for teachers to graze on.

Nosher #1:  Great idea.  Let’s saddle up.  It’s going to be interesting to see if the new board-posse with a new High Sheriff will actually be serving ‘conservative’ shots of sarsaparilla as they previously promised.  If their sarsaparilla is watered down or not poured properly, then look for all the IISD saloon patrons, especially those who supported the new board-posse, to join AA (Angry Acolytes) to strip them of their badges and run them out of town on a rail. 

Nosher #2:  Seems like we are starting a never ending trail ride to Dodge City which doesn’t even have an Entertainment Center.

A note from counsel: These “candid” lunchroom conversations have been injected with fabricated nouns, verbs, adjectives, conjunctions, adverbs, modifiers and maybe a few dangling participles.  Mark Holbrook