Thursday, February 11, 2016

CCR 02-11-16 Mopping Up Publicity



the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”


   What do you do when QueenB VD just doesn’t plan to schedule an appearance at your momentous groundbreaking or ribbon cutting?  

   Does her Red Meat TEA-carnivore blathering-tour interfere with mayoral functions which often leave new and vibrant businesses hanging?  

   Is having a Pet Rock subbing, in her place, just not the same as having the queen make a photo op appearance?

   Staff of the CCR apologizes for not having this problem resolved and available for the original groundbreaking of the ARK Entertainment Center development.  As you know, QueenB VD had "pressing matters" which prevented her from being present at this wondrous event. 
("Pressing matters"…snicker…sure…even after accepting the invite?)  

   However, there will not be any missed queenly photo ops in the future for a ground breaking, or ribbon cutting in Irving during the remaining days of QueenB VDs reign.

   Now, staff of the CCR offers a unique solution to your problem of documenting your official groundbreaking, or ribbon cutting.  You can remember the occasion, with plenty of queenly photo ops…as if QueenB VD was actually there!


Introducing the:

QueenB VD Photo Op Doppelgänger



   And there is no charge for selfies with the mayor-on-a-stick pics.  Normal charges for all selfies with the ‘real’ QueenB VD can run as high as $29.95 each…especially, when she is on the set of the Glenn Beck Tin Foil Hat Revolution program.

   Remember, all proceeds from QueenB VDs photo ops go to support an unworthy and secretive Irving slush-fund cause…"Dark Money" to elect Pet Rocks and Red Meat TEA-carnivore sycophants.

……………………………..Mark Holbrook 

Ed. Note:  For the record, not all weird concepts or ideas emanate from the sparsely populated cranial compartments of CCR staff members.  The above suggests a classic example.
  



Monday, February 8, 2016

CCR 02-08-16 Today's Not Yesterday

the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”


   If John Oliver, of HBO’s "Last Week Tonight," had been in Irving this past week, he would probably want to re-name his program, "The Week Was Today."

   The roller coaster ride of happenings and events this past week had more ups and downs than the pot/chuckhole eastbound section of Irving Blvd. between Main Street and Loop 12.  (Those taking this ride daily will certainly be needing dental implants before summer arrives.)

   Just in case you were hiding in a cave with Flying Harpies or spun into a politico gibberish-coma by a Pet Rock, here are some items worthy of your consideration.

Potential City Council Filings  
   The tent is set up and the clown mobile loaded as rumors are circulating that this election season will have more comic relief, than conventional wisdom, provided for voters.  And one can automatically thank QueenB VD and her "Dark Money" cohorts. 

   On the horizon, efforts are being made, or considerations initiated to run for election by: a former disgraced, due to resumĂ© fact fabrications, council Pet Rock; a sycophant FaceBook blogger for QueenB VD on KIAD (Keep Irving Divisive); a real estate crony of QueenB VDs who has previously pledged total fealty; a failed county election candidate whose murky past is as cloudy as that of Dorian Gray; and another failed city council candidate who marches to the same drum beat as the queen, especially during her push for the council resolution on the State HB 562 fiasco.

   With three seats up this election cycle, the pickings are not looking that grand for the queen.  And it appears the queen and her "Dark Money" providers are at the ready to establish any of the above in her royal court of Pet Rocks.

   District 1 is currently represented by John Danish.  And yes, staff of the CCR will firmly advocate that Danish be re-elected.  Taking a look back on some of the more controversial issues QueenB VD has promulgated, especially during her Red Meat TEA-carnivore blathering sessions, Danish has been a voice of reason and instrumental in the city pursuing the right and proper course.

   District 2 (At Large) is currently occupied by Allan Meager.  And like Danish, he should be re-elected.  He has assisted in limiting QueenB VDs expansion of her single source developers, special interest groups, MOU for a bland development on the old Texas Stadium site and cronies who have been given the keys to unlock city Economic Development funds supplied by tax bucks.

   District 7 is being vacated by Pet Rock Gerald Farris who is not running for re-election.  (A quiet thank goodness would be appropriate.)  This seat is where QueenB VD and her "Dark Money" cronies hope to establish a beachhead to assist in their devious plan of spending obscene amounts of money in seeing incumbents are not re-elected.  You see, the "Dark Money" plan has nothing to do with good government, but rather electing Pet Rocks for promoting and fostering a greedy agenda benefitting those who support, finance and personally gain from the queen being mayor.  And this seat is where some of the clowns aligned with the queen could be putting on their red noses!

   The deadline for filing in the city council election is February 19, 2016.  When the final roster of candidates is know, the CCR will alert you as to nefarious plans the candidates aligned with QueenB VD and the "Dark Money" political pimps1 have in mind for low information voters.

New Orleans Sendoff 
   The service for golden voice, silver tongue and former Mayor Bob Power was befitting an individual whose civic imprint on the city not only will be remembered, but will probably never be duplicated.  Yes, Bob was a stately gentleman who served the citizens of Irving like no other mayor has previously managed to do.

   As a testament to his ability to work, all inclusively, with citizens and officials, the attendance of former mayors, former and present city council members, former city managers, city staff, titans of business and industry, and individuals touched, by the many projects and issues he helped create or see to resolution, were in attendance to pay their final respects.

   Instead of attempting to identify the many accomplishments instrumental during Bob’s tenure of service to Irving, click on the following:



   Of course, Irving today is not the Irving of days past.  And one of the primary reasons could be the leadership of politicos today is more egocentric to appease self-interest…as opposed to being the civic servants, to serve citizens, they were elected to represent.  In essence, Irving currently lacks good, old fashioned leadership.

   Probably, the only thing missing at the conclusion of the service for Bob was having Drew Brees, of the New Orleans Saints, lead the jazz band and attendees down the aisles of Calvary Temple.  That would have been one more touch of class to an already classy and fitting home going for a true Irving icon and leader.

Can You Hear Us Now?

   While the current information is rather sketchy at this point, a rather large issue is poised to be shuffled through the council.  This issue directly impacts all Irving tax payers.

   While the city is fortunate to have Verizon as a corporate citizen, their future plans for building and developing acreage around their corporate campus will be for a for-profit enterprise…which is not directly related to their communications business.  

   As such, it appears the Verizon enterprise will be funding the infrastructure (roads, sewers, etc.) for the development, but will look to the city for later reimbursement of those expenses.

   Some would deem this crony capitalism if approved by the city, while others would question why the city should be funding a for-profit private development at tax payer expense.

   How many small, struggling businesses in the city are ever afforded this type of financial opportunity.  Are tax payer funds up for grabs and available due to the size of a business, or who one might know to convince the council and city staff their pie-in-the-sky colored pictures just have to have city paid financial subsidies in order to successful?

   Consider how far this funding, if approved, for Verizon would go to address the decrepit infrastructure in the balance of the city.  Consider how long it has been, for areas of the city, when some citizens have waited to have their streets and sewers repaired or replaced.  Consider the lip service citizens often receive from council members when requesting assistance for those projects only to be told the current budget cannot support the funding to complete the needed request.

   If a public meeting is held to consider the Verizon proposal on a council agenda, citizens might want to clear their calendars and voice their concerns.  At the present, it appears all of the discussions regarding the Verizon deal have been in Executive Sessions of the council, or ‘smoke-filled’ meeting rooms to discuss and consider how best to proceed.   

   Remember, voters can often have more sway on public policy than pretty colored pictures provided by a developer.

…………………………………Mark Holbrook 

Notes:
1  Once again for clarification purposes: The term "pimps" is used to denote anyone who is associated with, contributes to, or provides campaign support utilizing "Dark Money" in a City of Irving election process.  The use of "Dark Money" is primarily to hide all those who would buy or control elected officials for self-interest purposes.  
   Irving’s State legislators, Rodney "Bogus-gate Complaint" Anderson and Matt "Squeaky" Rinaldi, voted against requiring disclosure of donors and expenses for these egregious "Dark Money" campaign-slush funds.  And they consider this representing the majority of Irving residents!  Those interested might want to check their campaign finance reports to witness how much "Dark Money" will seep into their re-election processes. 




Saturday, January 30, 2016

CCR 01-30-16 Fantasyland Rx Needed?

the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”

   Some days, there is not enough time to handle all the important priorities and details.  Other days, scrubbing non-consequential items, like attending the QueenB "Look At Me" VDs blathering-fest at the annual Chamber of Commerce banquet just seems to be appropriate.

   Seriously, for the good folks who paid good money to hear QueenB VD, the event should have been about showcasing Irving achievements.  Lately, with all the turmoil festering the city, QueenB VD requires any public forum possible to make it appear all is well in her realm and any problems or issues which cast her in a negative light are not her doing.

   Regardless of your opinion regarding the queen’s political malfeasance, the  chamber event does bring members of the business community together.  And that is a good thing.  

   And for those not wired into the political machinations which drive QueenB VD, here is what the politically ill-informed heard at the chamber’s State of the City address:
   (And remember, the following was laced with some queenly Fact Fabrications.)

QueenB VDs State of the City Address 
"Irving: A City Divided" 

   Welcome!  I, blah blah blah, ME, and I blah blah blah, (mane flip), blah blah blah, MYSELF.  Relocations, I, blah blah blah, (Hollywood-ish pose for photo op), blah blah blah, BY MYSELF, blah blah blah, (photo op), blah blah blah.

   On incentives for developers, I, blah blah blah, (mane flip), blah blah blah.  I, blah blah blah, (photo op), blah blah blah, ME.   Blah blah blah, I, blah blah blah. 

   MY crony-capitalism stooges, blah blah blah, I, blah blah blah, (mane flip), blah blah blah, and I, blah blah blah.
   (Wash, rinse and repeat verbiage…for another half hour.)

   Of course, for the attendees not in the know, the address sounded as if QueenB VD had single-handedly achieved gold stars for all her self-righteous pseudo-activities.  (cue her mane flip and photo op for effect)  

   However, if one looked closely, many attendees had their official CCR Torofeca Filters (see pic) placed against their ears.  These individuals heard a different speech.  How is that possible?

Official CCR Torofeca Filter

   The Torofeca Filter can strain self-aggrandizing political rhetoric and allow the listener to hear what the reality of an issue, being discussed, might be.

Example
QueenB VD:  "Cultural differences also took center stage, but we responded by demonstrating leadership…"

w/Torofeca Filter: We?  I gave Irving worldwide attention, not leadership, due to my facts fabrication, fear-mongering and the spreading of Islamophobia.

   As one can imagine, attendees with Torofeca Filters actually heard what was occurring in ‘beautiful downtown Irving.’  To be sure, they were amazed how QueenB VD also failed to include the following issues in her scripted remarks.  The real State of the City is certainly different from what the queen would have you believe.  
   Here is the subtext of QueenB VDs remarks when passed through the Torofeca Filter:
(And remember, these items are sprinkled with NPD-fairy dust by the queen.)

  • I, by dictating to my Pet Rocks Ward, Farris, LaMorgese and Spink, passed the meaningless council resolution in support of State HB 562 which created a divide in the city greater than any current earthquake has accomplished.  MY actions will even bear witness to seeing many more "unsavory protestors" prancing around town and religious institutions carrying arms and maybe even wearing white sheets.
  • I have fully supported my single source developers, special interest groups and cronies to assist them in achieving their goals for their private business interest.  While continuing to hedge MY support for anything related to the Entertainment Center, I continue to push MY agenda for OliverMcMillan, Hines Reality and those cronies who want to siphon tax bucks from the city’s Economic Development fund.
  • I will be assuring "Dark Money," from the Irving Opportunity Council, floods the upcoming city council elections to establish new Pet Rocks who will to cater to MY dictates.  Tonight, you may even see and hear one of MY current Pet Rocks pushing a potential city council candidate.  You must realize, I cannot achieve MY personal agenda and self-interest concerns if Pet Rocks are not elected to the council.
  • I, with the allegiance of State Representatives Rodney "Bogus-gate Complaint" Anderson and Matt "Squeaky" Rinaldi, have proudly branded Irving as a sanctuary city for all Red Meat TEA-carnivores.  This designation will assist ME when I decide to seek an office greater than mayor of Irving.  Until then, I’ll continue MY facts fabrication speaking tour to low information sycophants and Glenn Beck devotees who wear those fashionable tin foil hats.  Ted "Lizard Grin" Cruz will be proud of ME.
  • My flock of Flying Harpy FaceBook bloggers are poised to: shred any dissenters to MY dictates; promote the candidates of MY choosing for city council elections; spin any negative PR, regarding MY actions, by blaming the Dallas Morning News; and I will continue to dismiss the divisiveness which currently strangles the city as being a problem someone else created…certainly, not being due to MY Red Meat TEA-carnivore facts fabrication and blathering, which was so inaccurate and incorrect it spiked a high note on the Islamophobia scale.

   While the meal served at the chamber event, peppered steak, was considered outstanding, those who filtered QueenB VDs remarks, with their Torofeca Filters, left with severe cases of indigestion.  Good food and Torofeca just doesn't mix well. 

   The best cure and treatment for this malady, as encountered at the chamber event by attendees, is to become involved in the political processes by: eliminating all potential "Dark Money" candidates; vote against Pet Rock designees; and expose those who hold a crony-license of fealty issued by QueenB VD.

   Should all this be accomplished, then Irving citizens can discard their supply of Pepcid AC® and witness ‘beautiful downtown Irving’ returning to normalcy and its rightful owners…the citizens, not those playing the queen’s greedy games of faux-capitalism or the political system for their personal gain.

   Finally, Dylan Westie, Executive editor/Part-time wordsmith and Social Media Troll for the CCR, may have summed up QueenB VDs chamber presentation best with just one of his tweets.  It seems Dylan can do in 140 characters what takes the rest of the CCR staff to accomplish in 1,200 words!

   Dylan’s State of the City address perspective:


Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1 Jan 26
Tonight: QueenB (Irving mayor) cuts ribbon on creation of her Fantasyland of accomplishments at CofC State of City address. Disney is aghast!

   
…………………………………..Mark Holbrook








Sunday, January 17, 2016

CCR 01-17-16 CHOIR Sings Off Key

the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”


    It’s time to take to the bunkers, dear readers.  An attack by CHOIR is eminent and locals should heed the impending confrontation.

   As if there wasn’t enough hate, discontent and Islamophobia being spread across the city by QueenB VD, her Flying Harpy flock and sycophant bloggers, a new group is emerging which will, once again, cause rationale citizens to ask "will Irving ever reach a balance of having good and responsive government that doesn’t cater to single source developers, special interest groups, Red Meat TEA-carnivores, and, in the current situation, the squeaky wheel of a terribly insignificant minority?"

   In Irving, like on the national level, politicos attempt to never touch the "third rail"…the one with all the electrical juice on the mass transit lines which would fry your brain synapses.
   
   In DC, the third rail is considered to be any legislation regarding Social Security.  Members of Congress are reluctant to do anything about the system unless it involves increasing the level of benefits…which would hopefully garner Geezer votes in the next election cycle.  

   Unlike DC, ‘beautiful downtown Irving’ has three third-rails which local politicos always seem to waiver when addressing.

   If you really want to fill the council chambers for a long evening of debate, inflammatory rhetoric and mindless babble, then place one of the following issues on the city council agenda: alcohol zoning, zoning a church/temple/mosque in a neighborhood and…chickens.

   Yes, chickens!

   Over the years, the city council has attempted to address, restrict and impede good neighbors who like fresh eggs or a feathery alarm clock.
   
   Every time chickens are on the menu council agenda, the meetings have turned into verbal brawls leaving council members ducking for cover to finally appease the majority (which they should do in most cases) of Irving’s chicken-loving raisers.  The actions most often taken are to: table the item; form another ‘exploratory’ committee; or have staff bury the proposal in their to-do-one-day-after-I-retire pile.

   Regardless of pseudo-chicken perils previously addressed, a revision or proposal to ban, limit or completely do away with all roosters and chickens in residential neighborhoods is currently being fostered on city staff by CHOIR (Chicken Hating Offbeat Irving Residents).  And after listening to the solo performance of the individual, who seems to have a plucking issue with chickens as stated at the January 14 council meeting, the same old song and verses are set to be played again…rather loudly this time.

   Why, even QueenB VD complimented the CHOIR leader on his diligence in apprising the staff and council of his concerns.

   What is the fate of corn loving Irving chickens?  

   There will be an upcoming committee meeting (attended by city staff members and a Chick-fil-A-loving council member or two) on January 28 to address the grievances of CHOIR to determine language for a revision to the city’s current animal code ordinance.  

   Of course, city staff and all CHOIR members do not vote on city ordinances, so the revisions could come forward — just as stringent as those the Health Service committee submitted to end smoking — which would certainly ruffle the feathers of those in Irving who own chickens.  Reminder: One should fear the ruffled feathers of a chicken breeder who owns a rooster whose two ankles have laced razors on them. 

   For Full Disclosure:  A rooster resides a few houses down from the CCR staff.  And frankly, it is refreshing to hear this cock crow when walking down the driveway to pick up the DMN.  The rooster’s cock-a-doodle-doo gives significant meaning to a new sunrise about to break and the fact both of us are breathing to witness this occurrence.

   To ensure Irving’s rooster and chicken owners are well represented at any upcoming public meeting where ordinance revisions will be discussed — before any votes are taken — staff of the CCR has contacted and will fund the consultant services of Norm McDonald, the "new" Colonel Sanders wing man, to speak on behalf of all breast loving, finger licking good, drumstick purveyors of chicken.  Who better to represent Irving’s chicken lovers and owners than Norm?

   Isn’t the time right to finally leave Irving’s rooster and chicken lovers/breeders alone?  Or, will the council hop around scratching in the grit to end Irving’s poultry future?  

   Surely, now is not the time to break out the batter and frying oil to forego supporting all Irving chicken raisers across the city.  Right?  Cluck, cluck?!

   Could we have a little cream gravy with those biscuits?
   
……………………………………..Mark Holbrook
   
    
Sad Note:  In case you missed watching the January 14, 2016, city council meeting, you missed seeing QueenB VD suffer another crumbling of her Pet Rock collection.  In fact, she sustained minor injuries from her "petulant mane flipping" while discussing a Planning and Zoning Commission board appointment.

   The queen, using all of her self-aggrandizing rhetoric, managed to lecture the council, lecture the audience and attempted to lecture the viewing audience with her self-righteous rationale for why her vote was more important than the six who voted against her selection.

   Has anyone else noticed when the queen has to have the last word, it is usually about her self-anointed magnificence?

   Also of sad importance: It appears QueenB VDs collection of Pet Rocks is diminishing.  Only Pet Rocks Ward and, of course, LaMorgese voted as the queen dictated on the P&Z board appointment.  

   And Ward’s flimsy rationale and verbiage — for not following through with what he had originally indicated how his vote might be — was crass, atrocious and certainly did not justify his insipid actions.  LaMorgese, as usual, only spouted the queen’s talking points.

   Since rumor has it Pet Rock Farris will not be running for re-election, he threw caution, this time, to the winds and sided with the saner members of the council to vote against the queen’s choice.

   What made QueenB VDs actions even more humorous was the fact some of her inane rationale sounded similar to campaign rhetoric she promised voters years ago…but never delivered on.  Why is she spouting this now?


   


Friday, January 1, 2016

CCR 01-01-16 Questionable Endings

the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”


   Well, dear readers, if you thought 2015 was a bumpy ride in QueenB VDs royal carriage, then you had best tighten the seat belt.  2016 appears to be headed for some of the same political pot holes which created a massive ‘black eye’ on ‘beautiful downtown Irving.’

   Welcome to:  

QueenB VD of the House of NPD and Royal Court of WAB 
and Protectorate of Red Meat TEA-carnivores 2016 Realm
  • Will Tarn-X® ever be able to remove the disastrous personal and city patina QueenB VD generated in 2015?
  • Will the moldy stink of QueenB VDs single source developer, OliverMcMillan, perpetuate on the old Texas Stadium site with a new pablum-MOU?
  • Will the "Irving Islamophobia Tribunal," consisting of QueenB VD, State representatives Matt "Squeaky" Rinaldi and Rodney "Bogus-gate Complaint" Anderson, continue to welcome "unsavory protestors" prancing around town and religious institutions carrying arms and maybe dressed in white sheets?
  • How much "Dark Money," from the Irving Opportunity Council, will be spent in 2016 in an attempt to elect a Pet Rock to the city council?
  • How much "Dark Money," from the Irving Opportunity Council, is funding any of QueenB VDs activities…especially the Red Meat TEA-carnivore facts fabrication speaking tour?
  • Will "Dark Money," from the Irving Opportunity Council, be utilized to assist Matt "Squeaky" Rinaldi’s re-election?
  • Not making the cut for the DMNs Texan of the Year, will QueenB VD opt for sainthood as "Our Lady of Perpetual Cronyism?"
  • Will QueenB VD finally sit down with the editorial staff of the DMN and inform them as to why she doesn’t respond to queries regarding her activities?
  • What is the connection with the Austin Red Meat TEA-carnivore blogger and QueenB VD that possessed him to create a fabricated Texan of the Year award?
  • Is QueenB VDs committed endorsement of State representative Matt "Squeaky" Rinaldi a blessing or a curse?
  • Will 2016 be the year a cure for NPD is found?
  • Will citizens continue to rely on the exculpatory excuses, the queen blathers, as reality?
  • What new bogus legislation, similar to HB 562, will State Red Meat TEA-carnivores, Matt "Squeaky" Rinaldi and Rodney "Bogus-gate Complaint" Anderson propose to achieve failure in 2016?
  • Will the CCR ever identify what the "B" in QueenB stands for as there are four possibilities?
  • Will QueenB VDs flock of Flying Harpies finally decide to start re-taking their medications and realize the sham the queen has perpetrated on citizens for six years?
  • Will QueenB VDs Flying Harpy bloggers find a new scapegoat to pillar, as blaming the DMN for the queen’s political malfeasance is getting stale? 
  • Will the "green energy" street lights on Irving Boulevard continue to make the roadway unsafe during extended periods when there is little sun and the batteries are not charged?
  • As the roadways to the queen’s castle are finely paved and landscaped, will QueenB VD dictate the same treatment on roads for residents of South Irving?
  • How many tax dollars will be dolled out to QueenB VDs cronies for personal property development in ‘beautiful downtown Irving’ in 2016?
  • Enjoying the recreational amenities of her northern region, will QueenB VD finally order that South Irving have a recreation center?
  • Will QueenB VD set a new photo ops record in 2016?
  • Will city staff attempt an end run around citizens by implementing the horrendous trash bin garbage pick-up system under the guise of saving tax dollars?
  • Will QueenB VD spend as much time at city hall, handling the responsibilities of mayor, as she does at various haunts conducting ‘smoke-filled room’ meetings, discussions with single source developers, or touring the Red Meat TEA-carnivore speaking circuit?
  • Before QueenB VD crows about "Irving: City of Great Beginnings," shouldn’t she honestly level with citizens by enacting "Irving: City of Great Endings" to resolve all the divisiveness she created in 2015?

   While there may be many additional questions which will require further exploration and resolution, staff of the CCR is on deck and prepared.  And as usual, Dylan Westie, Executive editor/Part-time wordsmith and Social Media Troll for the CCR, is paw-ready to provide a ‘real time’ assessment of queenly shortcomings via Twitter (@dylanwestie1).

   We hope to provide you with a better understanding of the political malfeasance, which will probably be business as usual for QueenB VD, in 2016.  While the picture is hardly pretty, this accounts for the 1,000+ words, in many reports, to detail the facts fabrication and total lack of transparency which currently emits from the mayor’s office.

   Remember, if you have a topic, suggestion or a ‘cat needing to be kicked,’ let staff of the CCR know.  

   Otherwise, forget all those New Year’s resolutions and become critically involved in the activities which could turn the tide and restore ‘beautiful downtown Irving’ to its rightful owners…the citizens.

   Shouldn’t 2016 be the year to end the gluttony of "Dark Money," a Sugar Daddy handler, single source developers, special interest groups, cronyism, facts fabrication and kowtowing, on the council level, to a national political aberration…Red Meat TEA-carnivores?

…………………………………Mark Holbrook
   



Monday, December 28, 2015

CCR 12-28-15 Pimps, Rocks and Harpies

the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”


   By no means would most individuals pause to think George Carlin should be considered a saint…unless one believed being a ‘patron of free expression’ was the primary qualifier.

   After all, Carlin was a comic icon who believed words did have meaning…and some words expressed meanings better than Webster’s pablum definitions.  This was Carlin’s conviction and it certainly created a sharp elbow in the ribs of a puritanical Ozzie and Harriet-generation.

   In the mode of Lenny Bruce, Carlin included, in his dyadic monologues, what "the man" deemed unacceptable words and how his story, joke or expressions could be made a bit more humorous, edgy, or understandable by using sharp, pointed, stinging and profane words.

   And thus was born one of the best and most often remembered rants or monologues of George Carlin’s career: "The Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television." 
   (Readers will have to Google to read ‘the words,’ as this is a "family" publication.)

   Zipping forward to the current day, Carlin’s ‘seven words’ are a reminder of how times, people and even governmental institutions change.  

   A quick inventory reflects at least four of the seven ‘dirty words’ have been uttered on television…constantly, and not only on premium cable channels.  So, those words are apparently not dirty anymore. 
   (The other three words are probably still slang staples of sailors and gang bangers.)

   And this brings us to some words used in the CCR reports.  What?

   Yes, dear readers, some tangential readers or trollers of CCR reports have taken exception to a few word choices by staff.  Really?  (And we certainly don’t know why!)  

   Those individuals probably tend to forget the reports are designed to have folks think, maybe chuckle, and become involved in local affairs…not change their minds.  And should this take a literary 2x4-board across the forehead with word usage…okay by us. 

   In some instances, these same individuals, wearing their rose colored glasses, believe all is good, positive and orderly in QueenB VDs realm.  After all, if the queen dictates, all should agree…or be banished to her Tower of Obedience.
   (And for those who believe the queen’s Irving reign is equal to or worse than Laura Miller’s service as Big Ds mayor, think again.  In comparison, Laura Miller would be on a plateau with Margaret Thatcher for comparison purposes with QueenB VD.)

   With all this in mind, here are just three words which might require a bit more detail for slower readers to fully understand the context of the reports.  And for those who still do not comprehend the written word, satirical humor, or the butchering of sacred cows…we give up!

   CCR words which are not dirty are:

PIMPS 
Conventional Definition:
(noun)
…men who control prostitutes and arranges clients for them, taking part of their earnings in return.
Current Day Usage:  First off, a pimp does not have to deal in sexual trafficking.  After all, there are Bunny Ranch pimps, political pimps, publicity pimps, consultant pimps, and business pimps just to name a few.
   Stop and think about all the pimps you have run across in your daily dealings.
   Today, those who pay money to someone to ply favors, products or special considerations are merely dealing with a neo-pimp.  
   Formula: Money > Pimp = Favorable Consideration/Product 
   Pimps are seldom seen delivering their goods, as they prefer to operate in the dark.  Ergo, the new expression considered in Irving politics emerges…"Dark Money" pimps.  
   (The plural for the "Dark Money" folks is often used as specific individuals are not recognized…contrary to assertions made to the CCR staff.  Another reason for the darkness in the notation is that the expenses and those contributing are not pubic knowledge.  No report is available to the public as it is with all PAC activity.)
   Let’s consider some additional modern day pimping possibilities in 'beautiful downtown Irving':
   Do you believe political lobbyist are emulating Mother Teresa when they collect big bucks from ‘clients’ seeking favors or favorable legislation from elected State politicos?   
   What would it be called for individuals collecting bucks for a non-profit corporation whose express purpose is to provide their ‘clients’ access, favorable voting or insight to move a personal agenda forward?
   Sadly, there are many pimps among us and they have the money to buy, control or undermine and corrupt the political processes at the expense of voters.  
   Average voters are those attempting to fairly utilize the political system for quality candidates without having to pay a premium…using "Dark Money."

PET ROCKS
Convention Definition:
While sitting in a bar in the mid-70s, Gary Dahl decided the best pet to have should be one which did not require food, grooming, exercising, or taking neighborhood strolls and leaving yard presents.  As it turned out, his creation for this ‘new pet’ would be a smooth Mexican stone.  And thus was born the Pet Rock craze.  An owner’s manual even instructed those, who purchased a Pet Rock, on how to make the Pet Rocks "sit," "roll over," and other unique tricks.
Current Day Usage:
   (From the CCRs blog site: Glossary of the CCR) "Currently, there is a small number of city council members who will blindly follow QueenB VD on any issue she dictates.  And when listening to their rationale before voting, as the queen has commanded, those individuals sound like parrots, with verbal diarrhea, spouting talking points.  Citizens should be distraught over the activities of Pet Rocks, due to the fact the individuals ran on a platform of being ‘independent thinkers’ who would listen to the will of the people, and would not be swayed by PAC, special interest concerns or mega-campaign contributors.  Of course, when money or the queen talks, several on the council are all ears for the conversation!"
   (And like the original Pet Rocks, isn’t it amazing how the queen has trained her Pet Rocks to sit, roll over and follow her dictates while their ‘tails’ wag?)

FLYING HARPIES
Conventional Definition:
"In Greek mythology, a harpy was a female monster in the form of a bird with a human face. They would steal food from their victims while they are eating and carry evildoers (especially those who have killed their family) to the Erinyes. The term is often used metaphorically to refer to a nasty or annoying woman. In Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing, Benedick spots the sharp-tongued Beatrice approaching and exclaims to the Prince, Don Pedro, that he would do an assortment of arduous tasks for him "rather than hold three words conference with this harpy!"    
Current Day Usage:
   QueenB VDs flock of Flying Harpies and mini-Hobbits band together in a local blog-cave where they incessantly push and promote the queen’s Red Meat TEA-carnivore dogma which clogs the ethernet with cholesterol-laden blather.  Being the 5% of the population, as they believe they are, which is gifted with total insight, possession of all facts and the oration and literary skills of a mute mime, the harpies and mini-hobbits do not tolerate differing opinions, sound logic, or negative opinions which shine a less than favorable light on QueenB VDs activities.
   After all, the harpies and mini-hobbits believe in the queenly doctrine of "Squid pro quo" which means they douse ebony ink postings over any statement, opinion and adverse comment by a non-believer on their Keep Irving Divisive FaceBook page.
   In essence, the harpies and mini-hobbits make the Stepford Wives and the Manchurian Candidate appear to be normal citizens spreading good will and cheer while they are actually (here’s that non-dirty word again) pimping for a specific politico…QueenB VD.

   Yes, dear readers, the world— and even 'beautiful downtown Irving' — is full of Pimps, Flying Harpies and Pet Rocks.  They are everywhere.
   
   And for those who pay to receive the favors, recognition, products, or sponsor a self-interest agenda…the pimps are alive, well and thriving by accepting any and all coin of the realm offered.  

   All of this, in turn, allows the Flying Harpies to flutter and drop queenly adulations, repost the queen’s facts fabrications and pen vindictive babbling to those opposed to the hidden agendas of political pimps. 

   While all of this is happening, the Pet Rocks are rolling around the council chamber wagging their tails and free, following the dictates of the queen, to vote as told.  

   Basically, these three categories of political operatives are the primary reason Irving’s political processes have reached the lowest point in the city’s history during the past six years.  

   Warning: Beware the Ides of the 2016 Council Elections.  The convergence of these three forces will attempt to establish a new low in voter representation on the Irving City council which will ensure negative publicity continues to ‘blacken the eye’ of the city and allow special interest concerns to control major undertakings.  And this force will soon materialize after the first of the New Year. 
  
   Is this the path a vibrant city should want to pursue?

   If voters fail to eliminate the throes of being controlled by a Sugar Daddy handler, single source developers, "Dark Money" pimps, special interest concerns and cronies of QueenB VD, then the ICVB should immediately start branding Irving as the New Bunny Ranch of North Texas.

   And if this happens, then the force was not with the good citizens of 'beautiful downtown Irving.' 

   Where is Yoda when really need him, Obi Wan Kenobi?

……………………………………………Mark Holbrook