the Controversial Committee Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”
Dylan Westie: "If I Had Been Elected Mayor…
…Irving Would Be In Better Shape Today!"
While Dylan Westie, Executive editor/Part-time wordsmith and Social Media Troll for the CCR, is generally not one to dwell in the past, he did have an astute observation concerning his failed attempt, caused by bureaucratic red tape and canine discrimination, to become mayor of the City of Irving in 2014.
Even though he had a plurality of best wishes during the campaign cycle, the following represents how Dylan perceives things might have been handled differently had he been elected. With Dylan at the helm, citizens (not cronies) would have been first in line for all considerations, and the city council might not have been as divisive and dysfunctional as reflected in the current regime under QueenB VD.
Dylan’s plan of action and priorities would have included:
Irving Entertainment Center: Not only would ARK have completed the Entertainment Center, but Willie Nelson would be playing a Labor Day concert raising funds to speed the elimination of NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). Willie has been a long time supporter of the effort to cure this disorder, as he has seen tragic cases in local governments around the USA. However, he wanted his concert to be in Irving for this fund raising effort. His remarks on finding the cure for NPD were: "Irving, more than any city I have ever visited, has an acute problem. If not treated, the disorder will rapidly spread to those who associate with a primary carrier. Initial symptoms to look for in affected individuals are signs of the person being aloof, haughty and dismissive."1
( Is it starting to smell like ARK is ordering Pizza Inn pizzas ambulance chasers after the last city council work session?)
Byron Nelson Golf Tournament: Poor Byron. He loved Irving so much. He is probably in purgatory, stuck in a sand trap with his wedge, wondering why Irving didn’t convince the Dallas Salesmanship Club not to uproot what had been a treasured tournament in the city for so many years. Not only would Dylan have managed to extend the contractual agreement until 2035 with the group, but he would have eliminated any QueenB VD mayoral suite at the Four Seasons Resort. Really, should a tennis addict, who wants to construct a tennis center on the old Texas Stadium site, be availed benefits at a golf tournament?
Non-Partisan Politics: Even though Dylan does indulge, by occasionally eating red meat, he would not have started a crusade of blog slayings and verbal bullying against non-believing Red Meat TEA-carnivores. He certainly would not have engaged in the proselytization of good citizens by trying to convert them into low information thinkers. Never in the city’s history has the Irving City council been bombarded with pimping national political issues as it has under QueenB VD. Irving elected officials are supposed to be political party neutral and do the business of the city…not that of a national political party. The issues escalated, by QueenB VDs fact fabrications, to the point she had to call Irving’s State representatives,2 also Red Meat TEA-carnivores, in an attempt to defend all the fabrication of facts blathered during her photo op/speaking tour engagements for TEA-carnivore gatherings.
Enforced Animal Control: While Irving has a great and caring animal shelter which does tremendous work to see all animals are adopted with forever homes, recently — like kudzu — a breed of dangerous animals has been allowed to proliferate in the city. At the insistence of QueenB VD, Flying Harpies were illegally brought into the city to nest in a cave, provided by the queen, in Hackberry Creek. And yes, her flock of Flying Harpies are attempting to control the political discussions with rants, bullying, obnoxious FaceBook postings, and a host of phobias…only found listed in the little Red Meat TEA-carnivore Red Book. The fang bites, talon slashes, belittling and high pitch squealing-whines of these flying monsters would be comical if the harpies were not so transparent when babbling the talking points as dictated by the QueenB VD.
Falling Dallas Star: Do you really miss Jerry Jones? Or do you just miss his Trump-like ability to size up deals and make decisions. Knowing Jones is an animal lover, Dylan would have had an inside tract on managing to keep the Dallas Cowboys and their training facility in Irving. After all, Dylan can wag his tail better than a Cowboys cheerleader…something Jones could certainly appreciate. When a new deal was finalized, Jones would even consider a new cheer for the Boys…"Who dat dog!"
Crony Conflicts and Ethics: Since Dylan doesn’t believe in feeding in the public trough, he would ensure the city’s "conflict of interest" ordinances would be upheld and enforced…especially for those who donate to council campaigns as a means of greasing the skids for approval of their projects. There must be something seriously wrong with QueenB VDs "revised" ethics ordinance when the city council has to waive conflicts of interest at a regularly scheduled meetings. Seriously, it is either a conflict of interest or it isn’t a conflict of interest. But then, maybe QueenB VD uses the old Clinton definition of "it depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is."
Bright Light on "Dark Money": Believing all politics should be played on top of the table, Dylan never would have allowed the "secret" financing of political activities and chicanery in the city. QueenB VD with the assistance and control of her primary Sugar Daddy handler and contributor has sunk to a new low when it comes to funds being spent on achieving her personal political aspirations. The "dark money" funds recently initiated by the queen are so secret one of the local directors (Mapes) of the Irving Opportunity Council (which might be the ‘kidneys’ for the real money dogs) doesn’t even know he is a director and responsible for all those political shell tricks. The political corruption "dark money" could generate in Irving will probably scar the city for years to come. And this is why Dylan didn’t accept any contributions from ‘bag men,’ Sugar Daddy handlers, or any other citizens during his campaign
Memorial Koi Pond: When the queen’s Pet Rocks (Ward, Riddle, Farris and LaMorgese) retire, decide not to run for re-election, or maybe forced out of office via a recall election, what better way to commemorate their lack of service to the citizens of the city than a one acre Koi pond in front of city hall. The Pet Rocks will form and serve as the pond foundation bed. Citizens will enjoy watching the koi do what koi do as a reminder of the Pet Rocks…eating, burping, slurping, and making those strange bubbles for other unmentionable activities.
South Irving Re-birth: Dylan’s first step in the redevelopment of the Historical District would have been to create a bonfire and have a city-wide wiener roast with the, at least, sixty-three "studies," already filed at city hall describing what to do with south Irving. How about this for a workable plan: A relaxing of restrictions on developers; development of a recreational center to complement the Senior Citizens Center; granting Economic Development funds to those actually needing the assistance who are not cronies of the queen; construction of lofts by the TXMM station; and view development of the southern portion of the city with the same fervor as often exhibited with the south’s northern neighbors. And yes, a PetSmart would be a required development for any south Irving plan.
I Scream, You Scream: There is no doubt that had Dylan been elected mayor, Blue Bell ice cream would have selected Irving to launch their re-distribution of products when the plants started production. In pre-election secret negotiations with Blue Bell, Dylan was assured his white fluffy fur would look better on a gallon container of The Great Divide, a combination of Homemade Vanilla and Dutch chocolate, when compared to a mane flipping photo of QueenB VD.
Without donning rose colored glasses, don’t you believe the leadership QueenB VD has exhibited, to citizens of the city, pales in comparison to what might have occurred had Dylan been elected mayor of Irving?
After all, there are no current records of an aloof, haughty or dismissive Westie running around ‘beautiful downtown Irving.’
……………………….Mark Holbrook
Publisher’s Note: Staff of the CCR would like to thank the creative cogitations of a couple dedicated, concerned citizens for their ideas for this report.
Additionally, for those not familiar with Dylan’s campaign for mayor, go to the CCRs blog site located at: controversialcommittee.blogspot.com and click on the heading (left side of the page) "Dylan’s Campaign for Irving Mayor." You’ll find a brief listing of the national and international TV coverage, newspaper articles and other details relative to the viral wagging of his tail during the mayoral campaign.
REPORT NOTES
1. Were you aware the Dallas Morning News once assigned, in an editorial piece, the words aloof, haughty and dismissive as pertaining to QueenB VD?
2. When not serving their TEA Party master, Ted Cruz, Irving’s State representatives are: "Bogus-gate Complaint" Anderson, "Squeaky" Rinaldi, and "In-the-Wind" Sheets.
