Sunday, May 29, 2011

ZAP! #58: Super Inflated

ZAP! #58...May 29, 2011

He’s at it again!

Since money appears to be no object, the incumbent mayor is plastering his image all over the cable and conventional channels with commercials on how he has been Irving’s savior from all the dark and negative forces that plague the citizenry of beautiful downtown Irving .

Gone are the deceitful and untruthful commercials branding a genuine public servant, Joe Putnam, as a “slumlord lawyer.” Of course, this attack by the incumbent mayor was all all planned to keep him from having to discuss his dismal and spendthrift record as mayor. Also, these commercials and ads hid the fact he was bought and paid for by Billy Bob Barnett, the Las Colinas Group and other special interest folks tied to the $250 million Entertainment Center project that are waiting in line to gain from his re-election efforts.

Now, the incumbent mayor and his political money pimp, Billy Bob, are investing tons of fresh bucks in new ads and commercials to have you believe that the incumbent mayor is personally responsible for: inventing the Internet, discovering the polio vaccine, being the first astronaut to walk on the moon, and leading the Navy Seal Team 6 that killed Osama bin Laden. (Aside: Didn’t the president already take credit for this?)

One has to wonder: Does the city really need eight additional council members when you have Super Mayor running the show? What are all these other elected officials doing when the police chief beams the picture of a double-wide trailer in the sky calling the incumbent mayor to action? Wait...the remaining eight are there to kiss the “super ring” that bestows his magical powers to fight crime, tear down slum apartments and possibly build a $250 million shrine to greed, questionable expenditures and political corruption.

The incumbent mayor now wants your vote to keep Irving safer. Somehow, my billfold might be a lot safer if he wasn’t mayor. The incumbent mayor wants to keep “deporting illegal alien criminals.” (Note: he uses the term illegal alien criminals are deported...not those who are here illegally and maybe have not committed a crime!) The incumbent mayor wants to tear down sub-standard apartments. (News Flash: There are currently no sub-standard apartments identified to be torn down. This is blatant political hype.)

One thing the incumbent mayor can be proud of with all the bucks he paid his high priced consultant who designed this new batch of fanciful commercials...he will surely win one of the coveted SLAM awards. For those not familiar with this industry recognition for political commercials, the acronym SLAM is Sleazy Lies About Me.

Irving voters will have to decide on June 18th: Do you really want an ego-inflated, Spandex suited and SLAM awardee flying and weaving his truck all over town lifting your billfold and spreading industrial amounts of horse hockey on you and your lawn?

................Mark Holbrook

A reader sez: “Lying in our bed last night we were accosted with a “Gears for mayor” TV commercial. I think we might have been watching “Bait Car,” so that must be his target audience -- I am afraid. My wife votes against him, because of the glasses and cuff links.” Anonymous

We Say: Are you sure that that wasn’t a Kool- Aid commercial you were watching? He and Billy Bob seem to be attempting to spike the entire city water supply.....Mark Holbrook

A reader sez: Nice!!! Anonymous

We Say: It will not be nice when your billfold is empty.......Mark Holbrook

A reader sez:

You are definitely more than magnificent!! Anonymous

We Say: True, only if we were "super inflated" like the incumbent mayor...Mark Holbrook