Sunday, June 12, 2011

06-11-11 the O-file

The O-file

(Inside the president’s mind documenting what he really isn’t saying.)

Draining the Swamp

Effective immediately, I am going to assume -- by executive order -- Nancy Pelosi’s position. As the minority leader of the House, she is falling down on the job and not demonstrating leadership. I suspect that all of the Botox injections she has received over the years have finally squeezed her tiny brain into a needlepoint.

My rationale for this change is that when she was the Speaker of the House of Representatives, she stated -- and I quote -- that she was going to: “drain the swamp of all the corruption.” Listen, Nancy...the swamp is overflowing and you haven’t even thought about pulling the plug! I fully expected to see you issue a statement regarding the latest Democrat scandal. Where is the headline: “Pelosi Wants Weiner Probe” for the TwitterGate affair regarding Rep. Anthony Weiner.

All of this reached a head today when censured House ethics violator and potential IRS tax cheat Rep. Charlie Rangel came to the defense of political pervert Tony “the Little Weiner” Weiner. If this is the best friend Weiner can find in the Democrat party or the swamp, then he is in a world of hurt. I guess Weiner didn’t realize that he should have sent his BlackBerry to the dry cleaners and had all his computer chips scrubbed. He made the same mistake that Bill Clinton made and didn’t use One Hour Martinizing to clean up the evidence!

How does Nancy and all the swamp-Ds expect me to go around the country with Mr. TelePromoter giving great speeches that everything is wonderful -- including me? And it is wonderful...and so am I! I tell myself this every morning when: I am planning my next vacation on Air Force One; teeing up the golf ball for my 186th round of golf this year; bowing to any foreign dignitary that I meet; playing Waffler-in-Chief with our armed forces; never using the words Muslim terrorist or illegal aliens and creating the largest debt in the history of this once proud nation.

My 2012 message to all my Kool-Aid drinking lemming-supporters is simple -- “Let’s Have Four More Years!” I think this will really resonate with the unwashed masses. After all, who doesn’t want another deficit spending party and four more years of: double-digit unemployment, higher gasoline prices, double-digit inflation; more home foreclosures; stimulus spending that assist my large corporate donors; bailing out businesses so that my union voters can take control; allowing over 2,000 businesses (all supporters and donors) to be exempt from that marvel of governmental intrusion - ObamaCare. And folks thought a community organizer couldn’t be president. Have we shown them, or what?

On second thought, let’s leave Nancy and all the Democrat swamp weasels, tax cheats, Twitter perverts and sleazy special interest donors alone. Not only are they supporters and voters, but they exemplify the hidden text of all my Mr. TelePrompter speeches.

My speeches are like my fabulous basketball moves...fake to the right and drive hard to the Left.

...........Mark Holbrook