Wednesday, February 6, 2013

ER #52: Now Hear This

City Hall Elevator Rumblings  #52

Rider #1:  Have you heard what our latest ‘performance excellence’ process will be?  The city manager is looking to rename our “City Spectrum” publication that is currently sent to all residents and businesses in the city.

Rider #2:  No, I hadn’t heard.  Why would he want to do that?

Rider #1:  Well, he perceives that the Dallas Morning News and Channel 8, WFAA-TV, are adverse to shining a favorable light on his self-proclaimed performance achievements.  So, he wants to counter their coverage with his own spin and talking points.  This should work to his advantage, since he doesn’t return their phone calls or appear on camera for interview purposes to answer probing and targeted questions.

Rider #2:  Somehow, this sounds strangely like Newspeak that I remember from Orwell’s “1984.”

Rider #1:  BINGO, proletariat breath!  And the name he is contemplating to replace “City Spectrum” with is...wait for it...“Irving’s GPS.”  And before you jump to any conclusions that this will be a global positioning guide to finding out where Irving’s best watering holes and nosh outlets are located, Irving’s GPS actually means: 
Irving’s Gonzalez Propaganda Sheets

Rider #2:  Why am I not surprised?

George Orwell: 
“The further a society drifts from truth, the more it will hate those that speak it.”

A note from counsel: These “candid” elevator conversations have been injected with fabricated nouns, verbs, adjectives, conjunctions, adverbs, modifiers and maybe a few dangling participles….Mark Holbrook