Sunday, May 12, 2013

ZAP! #119: Birdbrain Logic

ZAP! #119

     The CCR has good news and bad news to bring to your attention. 

     As many of you, who recently obtained the CCRs new O-CRAP (Ordinary Citizens Revolting Against Politicos) App noticed, there was a system failure with the initial launch.  When three council members (Van Duyne, LaMorgese and Spink) spoke against and voted against the MOU (Memorandum of Understanding) with ARK to develop a proposal (at NO cost to the city, so please let your dandruff settle) to determine IF (note capitalization and italic emphasis) an Entertainment Center would even be feasible for the city, the App crashed

     And here’s why.

     During the development of the O-CRAP App, the CCR utilized extensive research to cover all potential toxic and odoriferous emissions (bull, cow, horse and raccoon) a politico might spew or unload when attempting to justify disingenuous comments regarding an Irving issue.  Those who had the App soon learned that it failed when the mayor and her two cohorts spoke in highly duplicitous terms against the MOU at the council meeting.  For this we apologize.  Not for the politicos, but for our shortsightedness in not having a stronger filter on the App to allow you to know what the hidden political agenda or string-pulled-handler decision might be for these individuals.

     That’s the bad news.  The good news -- and we mean really good -- is that the O-CRAP 2.0 App is now ready for downloading.  And the good news continues in that the cost of the App has been reduced from $49.99 $27.89 to $3.99 with a money back guarantee should there be any future system failures.

     How can the CCR be so confident and make this money back guarantee?  Simple!  The O-CRAP 2.0 App disc will come with the newly developed MC attachment for your computer when in use.  The MC (Miner Canary) attachment has not only been proven reliable, but it is pure Americana.  The MC attachment, that plugs into one of your computer ports, will be a small cage with a live yellow canary(Think coal miners using canaries, to detect toxic and explosive methane gas, for safety purposes.)  

     When exposed to inane politico blather, the App’s canary -- acting like a safety filter -- will keel over dead with any severe misstatement, disingenuous drivel or yammering justification by a politico.  Sure, the canary will be dead, but your computer system will automatically shut down and your motherboard will not be fried.

     And here’s the even better news.  While the App will be inexpensive (only $3.99), the CCR will be the sole supplier and vendor for all MC replacement parts (read: live O-CRAP 2.0 canaries).  Sweet...profits!

     So, don’t let politicos sing their dinky ditties of political tripe -- composed by their handlers -- that sounds like sour notes of frustration when their undisclosed agenda is not approved.  (Can you still hear the mayor cheeping?)  

     Let the O-CRAP 2.0 with MC attachment convert political prattle into a melodious aria of understanding for you.  This will allow you, as a concerned citizen, to have a better understanding of what a politico is warbling, off key of course, in their public discourse through advanced political-tweeter technology.

………………….Mark Holbrook  

Note for those with dandruff still falling over the council’s approval of the MOU: The council has 120 days to determine IF an Entertainment Center deal is viable with this company.  There has been NO commitment of funds for any phase of this project at this time.  The CCR will be using the O-CRAP 2.0 with MC attachment to advise readers of any possible deal the council appears to be considering.  We have a stockpile of canaries available for these future discussions. MH