Sunday, June 2, 2013

ER #58: Naked Ambition

City Hall Elevator Rumblings  #58

Rider #1:  It finally happened.  Folks outside of Irving have noticed that the King  Queen has no clothes on!  But then, who should really be surprised by this?  Two recent articles* in Dallas publications are causing folks to wonder if the time is ripe to replace the Mustangs of Las Colinas as the official symbol of Irving.  What has been going on with the entire council under the current regime hasn’t been stellar.  In fact, many would contend that it has been rather asinine...on both sides of the fence.  Perhaps, it is time for Irving’s new symbol to be the Burros of Las Colinas.

Rider #2:  If they do consider having a ‘pack of burros’ as Irving’s new symbol, then maybe council member Cannaday can propose this change.  Remember, she carried the water for the chamber of commerce and pushed to have the mustang logo incorporated on all city identifiers?  And they still haven’t finished spending and painting all the city water towers, trucks and petting zoo animals with the mustang emblem.  When does the spending end?

Rider #1:  I sure hope they have a contest for the best city slogan when the ‘pack of burros’ is sculpted and placed in Williams Square.  I just might have a winning entry with: Irving...Always On Our Ass.  And just think, we have the current leadership and council to prove it!

Rider #2:  You do understand that these two articles are really causing the mayor some serious mane flipping and heartburn?  She has already texted J. Ralph and Heinz 2,842 times in the last two days.  J. Ralph may even have to put aside his detailing budget review comments for her to use...just to address this PR issue.  Word on the street is that he plans to: cover her bareness with a new Neiman’s wardrobe to keep from embarrassing the ‘little people’ as she flaunts about town; shoot a little botox to remove all the deep lines caused by a deflated ego; obtain a prescription for Valium to brighten her petulant spoiled-child look for media disdain; and promise to buy D Magazine, CultureMap Dallas and the Dallas Morning News to ensure that No. 2,** in his politically-owned stable of Irving politicos, is happy and never abused by the media again.

Rider #1:  If J. Ralph is doing all this now, just think how much he will have to commit to when she really is depressed by the runoff election results.  Gone will be her ‘bad dream’ team ready and poised to respond to her every beck and call while sipping the Queen’s brew.  Surely, a runoff defeat of “her” candidates or another negative media report might cause her to finally understand that to needs someone following them.

Rider #2:  That’s right!  Running at the front of the pack with a personal agenda or a political payback attitude is not generally considered leadership.  

*   The following links will take you to the two reports the ‘elevator riders’ were commenting on.

**   No. 1 in his stable of politically-owned Irving politicos will always be Linda Harper-Brown.

A note from counsel: These “candid” elevator conversations have been injected with fabricated nouns, verbs, adjectives, conjunctions, adverbs, modifiers and maybe a few dangling participles….Mark Holbrook