Monday, June 3, 2013

ZAP! #123: Flotsam and Jetsam

ZAP! #123

     Good morning, Irving!    

Strap yourself in as it will be a busy week for all of us who foot the bill for the bumbling ineptitude otherwise known as “performance” by your elected officials, or overpaid bureaucrats.

*  First on the list is early voting begins today for the city council runoff election.  Early voting will be at city hall and the Valley Ranch Library.  Only voters living in the district can cast a ballot for the Place 1 position featuring John Danish and Loren Byers (classic liberal vs. conservative).  All voters can cast a ballot for the Place 2 at-large position matching Kensley Stewart and Allan Meagher. (fiscal conservative vs. member of the old Entertainment Center guard)  Here’s a simple guideline to follow: No voting, no bitching complaining!

*  Speaking of bumbling ineptitude, the city council will be meeting this week.  High on the agenda for approval is the agreement for the hotel to be located in the yet to be developed Las Colinas entertainment district.  Word of caution.  Will someone, other than the city attorney, review the legal documents for this agreement?  Really!  Do we want the facility to be zoned as a ‘red light’ hotel project because the contract reeks with tax payers having to foot the bill if things go south as they did with Billy Bob’s caper?  After all, we can still zone a ‘red light’ hotel district in the Heritage District on property where tax payers have been _____ed-over (think sharp, metal, pointed, w/raised helical threads).  You get the point.

*  Would someone verify that all Red Caps are on standby duty?  This could be the week when the city manager starts packing his bags to go to Disneyland in Florida for some sun, fun and a new platoon to order around.  At the same time, the IISD superintendent is waiting for his phone to ring for a new job and pulled pork sandwich in North Carolina.  The good news is that CCR readers will not be required to spring for their going-away parties or contribute to a get-gone gift.  This is due to the fact that readers have already paid dearly and deeply over the past years for these two to park their posteriors at the citizen’s tax-paying trough.  Word to the wise: Do not let ex-mayor Gears or former council member Philipps anywhere near the recruiting or contract negotiation process for the hiring of replacements.  We’ve already seen how well that works out!

*  Sign up sheets are located in the City Secretary’s office for all those interested in helping guard the Malcolm Baldrige trophy that is on display like a Smithsonian exhibit.  We would hate for the city manager in his departure to attempt a heist or lift this perceived personal-token which was clearly paid for by all the blood, sweat and tears of city staff who saluted, complied and smiled to retain their jobs while they filled their Baldrige binders with reams of meaningless drivel.  Only those with a CHL (Concealed Handgun License) need apply.

*  There will be a book signing at Timberstone Mobile Home Park in Irving for ex-IISD board president Huffstetler’s new board procedure and instructional tome on micromanagement in the ISD.  She has titled her vapid memoir, “I Can Do It, But You Can’t.”  Regretfully, there are only six copies of the paperback edition available as the IRS has confiscated the entire first run printing.  Best get there early for one of the six signed copies.  Please park on the gravel.

  • Finally, the mayor and councilwoman Cannaday will unveil the new city logo that uses, as the primary design feature, the recently completed “Burros of Las Colinas” sculpture in Williams Square.  The mayor will also be autographing the article from CultureMap Dallas that features and recognizes her leadership abilities and skills...while wearing a tiara and queenly robe.

……………………….Mark Holbrook