Tuesday, August 13, 2013

ZAP! #134: Pick Me!

ZAP! #134

     With this ZAP!, staff of the CCR is pleased to announce that Dylan Westie, Executive Editor and Part-time Wordsmith for the CCR, will be throwing his hat in the ring for the vacant position on the Irving ISD board of trustees.

     As it appears that the current board will consider appointing a new board member to serve until May, 2014 to fill a vacancy, the timing on Dylan getting his name and image before the public is critical.  Having never served in an elected position, he believes this will work to his advantage.  After all, he’s never voted on a special interest issue for a major contributor, or participated in a meeting that violated the Open Meetings Act.

     While we wish Dylan the very best, we certainly hope that he realizes one very important detail about public service...your number of friends decreases with every vote you make.

     To assist Dylan, we have developed a few position/platform planks for him to consider.  These issues should assist him when meeting and greeting board members who will be voting to fill the vacancy.  Of course, splinters will need to be sanded off these planks before he goes public with these issues.

     As a temporary school board member, Dylan would promise, pledge and grovel for the following:

  • He will never shop at Wal-Mart.
  • He will disregard anyone who contributes to his effort to seek the board seat.
  • He will remove all school cafeterias and replace them will real food service institutions...Pizza Inn, Sonic, Taco Bell and other franchise operations that will donate 10% of their profits to school libraries.
  • All students will be required to wear uniforms with sneakers that do not cost more than $40.00.
  • Teachers will be allowed to teach and any disruptive student will be placed in solitary confinement and served old style cafeteria food.
  • Principals will get out of their offices, know what is going on in the classrooms and recognize good teachers with gift cards to Bed, Bath and Beyond.
  • Teachers will not be required to buy supplies for their classrooms...administrative budgets will be trimmed to cover these cost.
  • Time wasting meetings and inane committee assignments will be eliminated.
  • No meeting will last longer than forty-five minutes.
  • Teachers will not have to serve as monitors during lunch hours...police officers can handle this chore.
  • On school closing days due to ice, the announcement will be made the evening before the closing.
  • While doing something for the students is important, tax payers must be considered first as they foot all the bills.
  • Ridiculous studies or reports will not be initiated with consultants being paid exorbitant amounts for inconclusive results.

     While this is not an all inclusive list, Dylan would appreciate any position issues CCR readers might feel would be appropriate for his discussion with the ISD board of trustees before they vote to fill the vacancy.

     Should Dylan not be successful with obtaining this open seat on the board of trustees, he plans to use these positions on his resume´for the open superintendent job.  He believes a good position is a terrible thing to waste.

……………...Mark Holbrook