Monday, August 26, 2013

ZAP! #137: Deep Fried Essay

ZAP! #137

     The Irving ISD school board is considering having folks in the district, where a school board trustee position is currently open, submit letters/essays/vitas* requesting consideration to be appointed as the new trustee.  In cooperation with the snoops at NSA, the CCR was able to intercept one of the letters written.  Sometimes, being over qualified can be a detriment. 

Dear School Bored--

My English teach said y’all wanted someone to write an essay and tell ya that they wanted the free job on your Bored.  Does it pay very much?  I heard that the meals are free.  Do I get my own office with a smashing computer and game system?  Have you tried the new Grand Theft Auto IV?  Awesome!  Of course, I could do the Bored stuff and would even buy a pair of long pants for the meetings.  Levi jeans OK?  I know a lot about schools.  As a junior for the second time this year, I should be a senior next year if I can substitute a couple shop classes for the other hard ones like History, Math and that foreign language...English grammar.  I live around the area where the Bored member is supposed to live...the VW van parked in the back of the Budget Lodge.  You do have shower facilities in your building...right?  Let me know as soon as possible, as I may have to change my current address on short notice...and your back parking lot would be ideal for my immediate needs.  Just in case you do any checking, I was cleared of all the charges about the ‘laptop computer borrowing’ incident at Wal-Mart and my Texas CHL permit was taken away.  I plan to have the tattoo of my CHL-registration number removed (it’s under the skull with the snakes slithering out of the eye sockets) after getting my next pay check...did I mention that I’m a fry cook at House of Wok?  (We can even Wok your dog for you...snicker.)  I can give all the other Bored members discount, right?  Looking forward to hearing from ya.  This could be the right stepping stone for me at my work to get off the night shift.  Just put your OK note for me to be the new Bored member under the front windshield wiper of the van and I’ll be there the next day.
Peace and Love………...Darrell

………………..Mark Holbrook

*  Reference: DMN, 8-27-13, Avi Selk: