Friday, October 11, 2013

CCR 10-11-13: Apply Within

the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”

          Okay, we’ll admit it.  The staff of the CCR is three rungs down on the ladder of being computer literate.  In fact, if it wasn’t for pretty icons, we might not even be able to pound out these reports and hit the Send button so that readers could have some literary enjoyment in their politically naive life.

     With this in mind, we recently visited the city’s web site and noted that individuals could fill out a survey form and express what they would like to see in Irving’s next city manager.  The survey and its results are being compiled by the consulting group, Waters Consulting Group, hired by the city council to do this work for them.   

     Due to their tight schedules, cat-fighting battles and attempts not to appear to be pretentious, mayor BVD and her second-in-command of the BVD-Twit Brigade, Brad LaMorgese, require plenty of key-pounding time on FaceBook to support their Kool-Aid sipping drones.  And when anything is posted on FaceBook that pulls back the curtain on their shoddy, erroneous-wizard pronouncements and rationalizations regarding the ARK project, they need an abundance of non-productive time spreading fresh loads of Torofeca* all over the site KIA infidel posters.  How would one expect them to have time for picking the next city manager?  Hiring a consulting firm does seem appropriate in this case.

     Back to the survey.  Not trusting (or understanding) how the mechanics of the on-line survey could be held in confidence and anonymity, staff of the CCR called the number listed and requested a hard copy of the form to be sent to our e-mail address.  This would allow staff an opportunity to break out a fresh box of 126-count crayons and complete the form without anyone looking over their shoulder at their impeccable responses.  Then, the form would mailed while staff awaited the white smoke to appear in the city hall chimney announcing that their ideal city manager had been selected.  

     Wouldn’t you know it!  When Dylan, Executive Editor and Part-time Wordsmith for the CCR, ‘downloaded’ the form, he managed to scramble the questions and possible survey responses.  Not wanting to appear as dumb as a junkyard dog, he recopied the questions and penned his responses for submission to the consulting firm.  Following is the CCRs ‘Vision,’ as provided by Dylan, for the next city manager of Irving.

What are the most important areas of professional experience and expertise that the new City Manager should have?
Must have the ability to balance their personal check book.  Math skills to count to five...a council majority.  Not currently living on the proceeds of a Golden Parachute from their last employment.  Degree in financial management, but not from A&M, or TT. (Definition: Gross ignorance - Six dozen Aggies attempting to teach six dozen Red Raiders how to change a light bulb.)

What are the most important management and leadership characteristics that the new City Manager should demonstrate?
Must be able to walk around city hall and the community without their papal tiara falling off.  Doesn’t smile when sticking the job-shiv in a perceived non-loyal employee.  Is not a card carry member of the Mafia (Lubbock or otherwise).  Has not taken a blood-brother oath with the local chamber president.  

Of the following list, please indicate the degree of importance of each variable with 1 indicating little importance and 5 indicating high importance to you.
Short Term: Rated 5 - Tax Payers; Infrastructure needs; No spin dialog with the council; Fix only what is broken; Tax Payers; Actually understand what the definition of transparency means and willing to keep the local media informed without spin; Does not need to be spotted the E,T,H,I C __ in order to spell ETHICS.  Long Term: Rated 5 - Will not be present when the sheets are pulled back on the chamber’s bed.  Rated 1 - Interested in accumulating city ‘awards’ to fluff their resume.

What are the highest priority issues and greatest challenges that the new City Manager must be prepared to address in the short term and long term?
Recognize that citizen needs trump council political agendas and any city manager ego-driven project.

………………………...Mark Holbrook

  • Torofeca was previously defined in CCR 12-21-12.  Zip over to the CCR blog if your memory fails and you really cannot discern the definition from the Spanish usage.