Saturday, October 12, 2013

CCRs dwT #43: Green Cards for Everyone

Dylan sez…
(a short and timely jotting for CCR twits Tweeters)


dwT #43:  It’s a glorious day!  Irving can now be recognized as a sanctuary city.  And be prepared for the influx of all the politically impaired who have been living in the shadows awaiting amnesty.

     Backstory clue for the information impaired:   On the Irving city council agenda for October 17, 2013, the following item appears:

#46 (Zoning Ordinance No. 1144 change; Administrative comment #3)  This is an amendment to the Zoning Ordinance to modify the requirement that a carport constructed without a building permit or zoning approval must be demolished prior to applying for a zoning change to authorize the car port.   

     It is generally known that if the council wants to fill the chambers with folks protesting or registering their opinions against a new or inane ordinance that is being proposed, then one of these topics would do the trick: Booze, Smoking, Car Ports and Chickens(For newer readers, you should never contact a council member about your neighbor’s rooster crowing at 5:00 AM and request that he/she do something about it.  Word to the wise!)

     The agenda item, as described above, for car ports is to provide a revised provision in the current ordinance.  This will ‘fine tune’ a nagging problem the city got caught up in.  While this might sound laudable, it certainly appears that “zoning amnesty” is being granted, in this case, to a couple individuals and anyone who follows that have the same nagging problem.  

     Good law?  Greasing the squeaky wheel?  Appeasement politics?  Genuinely assisting residents?

     If the city council is going into the granting ‘zoning amnesty‘ business, then staff of the CCR would propose that political amnesty also be considered and granted for:

  • Provide amnesty for the bonehead who decided that the new library should be built over an underground spring and located near a city pond and fountain. 
  • Provide amnesty for all those who still believe that mayor BVD is providing leadership for the city as she rants disingenuously about the ARK entertainment center project to the media...and FaceBook.
  • Provide amnesty for all the “undisclosed city employees” who were never named in the $4 million Entertainment Center audit debacle spearheaded by Billy Bob.
  • Provide amnesty for those who know, but did not come forward to explain how all the McDougalville land deals always seemed advantageous to the McDougal clan, but not the city.
  • Provided amnesty for the providers of sporting ducats for the ex-city manager.
  • Provide amnesty for all the Bingo ladies who just want to enjoy a smoke while playing their favorite game.’s a good thing when the truth can have a legal foothold in resolving political/managerial/zoning malfeasance or appeasement.

A note from counsel: Some “Tweets” from Dylan Westie have been injected with fabricated nouns, verbs, adjectives, conjunctions, adverbs, modifiers and maybe a few dangling participles….Mark Holbrook