Sunday, November 17, 2013

ZAP! #142: Geezer Alert

ZAP! #142

     Just when one could imagine that the political gyroscope of the city would be humming along in syncretization, up pops an old anomaly long believed to be buried in the landfill of political chicanery that once: Catered to special interest groups; Banked over $1 million in campaign bucks from Billy Bob Barnett, Las Colinas Group, et al; Instituted the hiring and exorbitant salary, plus benefits, for former city manager Tommy Gonzalez; Provided fabrications in campaign literature; Knowingly lied about a mayoral opponent (not BVD in this instance); Kowtowed to the whims of the McDougal cartel for the Heritage District folly that cost the city $41 million for a bailout and left the city holding property with an over inflated value of $71 million; Witnessed personal issues that would make Jerry Springer blush; Also, hopped in bed with the local chamber of commerce to the tune of $2.2 million of economic development ‘slush funds’ which also included the lease of a stadium suite at Jerry’s Football World; etc.; etc.

     Yes, dear readers, it might be probable that the once considered ‘politically-dead’ ex-mayor Gears could be attempting to stage a resurrection to bless the citizenry again.  In this incantation or canonization, he could be known as non-St. Herbie.  What?!  And from the CCR peanut gallery we hear: “Say it isn’t true CCR.  Surely, this guy saw the political writing on the wall when he last got trounced in a local election.  Doesn’t this guy know how to read political Sanskrit?”

     While some of this report is based on CCR ‘facts’ (read: random speculation and Sir A. Conan Doyle deductive reasoning) the pieces of this almost comical puzzle seem to fit.  Under the stealth guise of having the homestead tax exemption for the city’s Geezers replace their property taxes, non-St. Herbie is starting a petition drive for this issue to possibly be on the May, 2014 city election ballot.  Before reaching an erroneous conclusion that this is a good deal for the city or Geezers, look at what one of the outcomes could be...non-St. Herbie possibly back on the city council.  How would this be possible one might ask?

     Not able to have the current city council appoint him to the city’s ICVB board this year (thank goodness for sound reasoning there by the city council) and while attempting to cut deals on where to run (Place 5 or mayor would be the only slots open to him) depending on possible candidates in the upcoming mayor’s race, non-St. Herbie would use this ‘see what a good guy I am now’ petition drive to have an unusual outflow of Geezers on election day.  

     Let’s face the possible and conceivably inevitability of all this speculation.  He wouldn’t need to pimp for campaign bucks for this stealth electioneering effort, as all he would have to do is call the drones who pulled his strings for his votes when mayor.  All he would need is a plethora of voters (addled Geezers?) to be returned to the council in one position or another.  And Geezers do overwhelmingly vote in local elections.  (Especially, if there might be something to supplement their meager monthly Social Security check on a ballot!)  Typical of non-St. Herbie’s left leaning tendencies, he is always willing to give something away that is not even his to give in order to obtain votes.  

     Dear reader, you do understand that with all ‘freebies’ someone has to pick up the tab if someone else is allowed to ‘skate’ paying their fair share?

     What may not be explained to Geezers, if his homestead petition drive of his even achieves traction, is that this manufactured Geezer tax relief would apply only to city of Irving taxes.  This would have no bearing on property taxes Geezers will still be required to pay to Parkland Hospital, Irving ISD, Dallas County, or the DCCCD.  In essence, what non-St. Herbie is praying for is that Geezers who commonly suffer from PADD (Political Attention Deficit Disorder) will not remember all his past transgressions and would vote anoint him with the oils of absolution should he again jump into the political arena.

     The question then becomes: Would Geezers actually consign their vote for a measly tax relief proposal and allow non-St. Herbie to return to the land of milk and honey self-serving interest and bloated-ego inflation that cost tax payers bundles of bucks due to fiscal malfeasance and mismanagement during his previous reign as mayor?

     Many questions still remain regarding this potential political ploy that seems to be in the hatching process for this petition drive.  And the most pressing issue will be the validity of the number and verification of actual petition signatures to see if non-St. Herbie spreads his wings with his subterfuge.

     Would a CCR reader put a good veterinarian on their speed dial for standby purposes...just in case wings need to be clipped on this still fluttering political albatross?

………………………..Mark Holbrook