Saturday, January 17, 2015

CCR 01-17-15: Seismic Flashes

the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”

   Without a doubt, the photo op session QueenB VD staged at city hall for the general public concerning Irving’s shaky situation with ground tremors was a huge success.  Packed house even!

   Not only did the queen manage to corral a couple additional politicos who also seemed starved for attention, but she glowed and beamed at the TV crews coverage.  

   (Catching part of the queen’s limelight that evening: Rodney "Bogus-gate Complaint" Anderson and County Judge Clay "Where’s the Camera" Jenkins.)

   Sadly, political events of this nature actually require someone from the CCR staff to be in attendance.  Why?  Who knows?  QueenB VD might flip her mane and accidentally ‘take out’ her two Pet Rocks running for re-election (LaMorgese and Spink).  Now, that would be a story worthy of covering, and a definite relief to the citizenry! 

   Dylan Westie, Executive Editor and Part-time Wordsmith for the CCR, drew the short straw and hustled down to city hall.  Believing the session would drone on until the wee hours, he threw a full packet of Pup-Peroni® in his backpack to snack on to prevent dozing off.

   While we expected a story worthy of publication, Dylan did not have very much as a take away from the meeting.  In fact, the following three tweets represent his full summary.  

   Actually, these tweets do more justice to what occurred.  He certainly cut to the chase without detailing all the political blathering, semi-erudite comments from intellectual pinheads, bobbing and weaving seismologists, and gaseous retorts from the guy representing the Texas Railroad Commission.  (No wonder why this guy is in charge of oil and gas in Texas.)

   Here’s Dylan’s version of the Great Earthquake "Got Questions" Gathering.

TO:  CCR Tweet-less 
Here’s what you recently missed by not following
Dylan Westie  @DylanWestie1  on Twit-er.

1) Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1 Jan 15
County Judge "Where's the Camera" Jenkins just solved earthquake problem: install an app on your smart phone!!

2) Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1 Jan 15
Mother Nature tells city council: You cannot 'fix' what I control, nor know when I will pound ground to advise I'm still here & in control!

3) Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1 Jan 15
Full moon shining on city council causes frackin' environmentalist to push their agenda regardless of data & discussion of Irving's issues.

   And this, dear readers, is a complete rundown on Irving’s Great Earthquake "Got Questions" Gathering session called and hosted by QueenB VD.  Don’t hold your breath waiting for tremor solutions as the queen is sponsoring a similar meeting on January 20th to continue her efforts in asking the unanswerable questions.

   Still have questions regarding earthquakes in Irving?  Who doesn’t?  However, this is how QueenB VD dismissed the audience…telling everyone that many questions still remain unanswered.  Duh! 

   However, the real question which wasn’t answered was: Why did the queen have this meeting were nothing was fully determined and caused a large crowd of folks to miss a re-run of Hee Haw thinking they might hear genuine answers to genuine concerns?  And did she really send a notice to her very selective e-mail grouping alerting them to attend?  (Sorry, that’s two questions.)

   Oh, we forgot…the real answer for the gathering was photo ops and TV exposure.  Yes, this panacea of amassing folks with her in the center of the dais will always guarantee and provide a soothing effect for a fragile ego needing a few seismic strokes.

…………………………Mark Holbrook

Note — For those wanting a bit more detail and a different perspective, see DMN, 01-15-15, Avi Selk article: