Sunday, August 9, 2015

CCR 08-09-15 Back to School

the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”

   Yes, summer is over.  All the rug rats are having school-mares about the pending doom of early rising, possible peer pressure and wondering if Mr. O.A. Shoeman started using deodorant this summer.

   With all that in  mind, the following pop quiz is required of all CCR e-mail readers.  Failure to take the test (or failing the test) has serious consequences…a severe mentioning in a future report for not reading prior mailings as carefully as one should.

   Take out your #2 pencils, keep your eyes on your on paper and write a 25-word essay on the following:

Question: When is a lie not a lie?  
(Here’s a hint to get you started.  Just remember: if QueenB VD says something is not a lie, when facts and documents dispute her assertions otherwise, then it cannot be a lie.  Understand?  Well, neither does the staff of the CCR.  Maybe eating a pound of raw, Red Meat-talking points — laden with fear-rhetoric — might help stimulate your brain synapses for this assignment.)

   While you are working on your essay papers, staff of the CCR would be remiss not to note the most recent Paper War QueenB VD has been waging in her realm.

   Dallas Morning News columnist Steve Blow wrote a very insightful, documented and honest column regarding QueenB VD and her unabashed, self-promotion of the city council resolution supporting State HB 562…how this was potentially impacting ‘beautiful downtown Irving.’ 

   Of course, the queen immediately took exception to the column Blow had written and wanted to set the record straight(Translation: Set him straight and reflect only the blathering QueenB VD dictates.)

   After a bit of ‘back and forth’ between Blow and the queen, he wrote another column noting how she was now spreading false information, half-truths and making him her new whipping boy for that mean, old, ‘doesn’t love me anymore’ media (Translation: the DMN)

   In essence, Blow, as reflected in his second column regarding QueenB VD, noted she was telling some Big Fat Fibs about him.  (For those who are not familiar with astute journalistic wording, Big Fat Fibs translates to Lying!)

   And when you click and read Blow’s column, on the following link, you’ve got to wonder: How can QueenB VD and her Flying Harpy flock propagate enough spin to make her lies sound like the truth?

   Have no fear!  QueenB VDs Flying Harpy flock did what was expected when confronted with a non-defensible truth laid at the queen’s feet.  The flock attacked the columnist, the Irving reporter of record and the Dallas Morning News editorial staff.  Their attacks were replete with using bullying tactics, name calling and questioning the heritage and sexuality of members of the Dallas media…and anyone else who would question the queen’s veracity.

   Of course, none of the blog babbling by the Flying Harpies reflected provable facts supporting the queen’s contentions with the columnist.  (Would one have expected otherwise?)

   (Question: In a Flying Harpy mind, does it always become "yellow journalism" when the media doesn’t subscribe to their opinions, statements, or falsehoods?)

   There would be no backpedaling by QueenB VD or her Flying Harpy flock.  The screeching and ranting by the Mother Superior of Flying Harpies and the flock went into overdrive with blog-postings...until their fingers were bloody in attempting to defend the queen's non-defensible statements.  With unabashed and faulty rationale, the flock would not concede to the reality of the queen’s false hyperbola.

   Of course, all this was to be envisioned.  When sycophants muster together, drink the spiked queen’s mead and have their entire life revolved around spinning — for a self-aggrandizing, self-indulging elected politico with an over inflated ego — the postings against those bearing the truth or in opposition to the queen’s dictates isn’t pretty.

   Realizing she wan’t winning the Truth War on the local blog sites or in the DMN blog postings, QueenB VD pointed her royal carriage in a new direction.  The following is how the queen now will handle the gathering of information to run and rule her realm from this point forward:

Posted on one of the many FaceBook accounts the queen uses in her perceived domain:
Beth Van Duyne,  Aug 7, 2015
I've decided to take a leave of absence from the DMN and get my news like everyone else - online!

   Please, no chuckling on how this ridiculous and classic disingenuous statement by QueenB VD must strike fear, remorse and rain tons of mea culpa’s on downtown Dallas.  And if you believe QueenB VD will not be picking up a DMN should a photo op of her happens to be printed or reflected in NeighborsGo, then see staff of the CCR for volume discounts on buying Bitcoins.

   Since QueenB VD is now going to get all her news from the Internet, maybe she will ask to be placed back on the CCR mailing list(The queen’s mum and remaining Pet Rocks are probably growing weary of forwarding or copying each report installment for her.)  

   And if she isn’t following Dylan Westie, Executive editor/Part-time wordsmith and Social Media Troll for the CCR, he would be glad happy nauseous about accepting her as a Twitter follower.

   Here’s what the queen recently missed by not following Dylan after he ‘read’ Steve Blow’s wonderfully written column about the queen being trapped in a vortex of falsifications (otherwise known as lies) :

Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1 Aug 5
QueenB (Irving mayor) purchased Lady GaGa’s red meat business suit to wear at TEA-carnivore speaking gigs while dispensing rancid info. Eww!

Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1 Aug 5
Will Irving require major cosmetic skin grafting to remove odious ‘branding’ by QueenB (Irving mayor) of being Red Meat TEA-capital of NTx?

Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1 Aug 6
QueenBs (Irving mayor) fabrication of facts once again exposed at …  When will Irving realize her persona is a sham?

   Okay, dear readers, the time is up.  Put your pencils down and turn in your essays.  Your papers will be graded and you will be notified by e-mail if your essay did not correctly identify how to tell when QueenB VD is lying.

   And the first reader, with the shortest essay, which states "when her lips are moving" automatically receives an A+…and a queenly promise of a brand new MacBook Pro 13.3* computer.

………………………………Mark Holbrook

Additional reading materials which might assist in completing your essay assignment:

When D Magazine, August 6, 2015, joins the fracas in pivotal support of Steve Blow, then the odds of QueenB VDs prior and later assertions, as to the honest facts of the matter, go down the porcelain latrine…or register 9.9 on the Torofeca scale.

* Note:  Okay, this was definitely a sneaky way to post product promotion.  If Apple would just pay for the CCRs pimping, would this be acceptable?  Anyone have those connections?  No "dark money" accepted.