Monday, December 28, 2015

CCR 12-28-15 Pimps, Rocks and Harpies

the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”

   By no means would most individuals pause to think George Carlin should be considered a saint…unless one believed being a ‘patron of free expression’ was the primary qualifier.

   After all, Carlin was a comic icon who believed words did have meaning…and some words expressed meanings better than Webster’s pablum definitions.  This was Carlin’s conviction and it certainly created a sharp elbow in the ribs of a puritanical Ozzie and Harriet-generation.

   In the mode of Lenny Bruce, Carlin included, in his dyadic monologues, what "the man" deemed unacceptable words and how his story, joke or expressions could be made a bit more humorous, edgy, or understandable by using sharp, pointed, stinging and profane words.

   And thus was born one of the best and most often remembered rants or monologues of George Carlin’s career: "The Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television." 
   (Readers will have to Google to read ‘the words,’ as this is a "family" publication.)

   Zipping forward to the current day, Carlin’s ‘seven words’ are a reminder of how times, people and even governmental institutions change.  

   A quick inventory reflects at least four of the seven ‘dirty words’ have been uttered on television…constantly, and not only on premium cable channels.  So, those words are apparently not dirty anymore. 
   (The other three words are probably still slang staples of sailors and gang bangers.)

   And this brings us to some words used in the CCR reports.  What?

   Yes, dear readers, some tangential readers or trollers of CCR reports have taken exception to a few word choices by staff.  Really?  (And we certainly don’t know why!)  

   Those individuals probably tend to forget the reports are designed to have folks think, maybe chuckle, and become involved in local affairs…not change their minds.  And should this take a literary 2x4-board across the forehead with word usage…okay by us. 

   In some instances, these same individuals, wearing their rose colored glasses, believe all is good, positive and orderly in QueenB VDs realm.  After all, if the queen dictates, all should agree…or be banished to her Tower of Obedience.
   (And for those who believe the queen’s Irving reign is equal to or worse than Laura Miller’s service as Big Ds mayor, think again.  In comparison, Laura Miller would be on a plateau with Margaret Thatcher for comparison purposes with QueenB VD.)

   With all this in mind, here are just three words which might require a bit more detail for slower readers to fully understand the context of the reports.  And for those who still do not comprehend the written word, satirical humor, or the butchering of sacred cows…we give up!

   CCR words which are not dirty are:

Conventional Definition:
…men who control prostitutes and arranges clients for them, taking part of their earnings in return.
Current Day Usage:  First off, a pimp does not have to deal in sexual trafficking.  After all, there are Bunny Ranch pimps, political pimps, publicity pimps, consultant pimps, and business pimps just to name a few.
   Stop and think about all the pimps you have run across in your daily dealings.
   Today, those who pay money to someone to ply favors, products or special considerations are merely dealing with a neo-pimp.  
   Formula: Money > Pimp = Favorable Consideration/Product 
   Pimps are seldom seen delivering their goods, as they prefer to operate in the dark.  Ergo, the new expression considered in Irving politics emerges…"Dark Money" pimps.  
   (The plural for the "Dark Money" folks is often used as specific individuals are not recognized…contrary to assertions made to the CCR staff.  Another reason for the darkness in the notation is that the expenses and those contributing are not pubic knowledge.  No report is available to the public as it is with all PAC activity.)
   Let’s consider some additional modern day pimping possibilities in 'beautiful downtown Irving':
   Do you believe political lobbyist are emulating Mother Teresa when they collect big bucks from ‘clients’ seeking favors or favorable legislation from elected State politicos?   
   What would it be called for individuals collecting bucks for a non-profit corporation whose express purpose is to provide their ‘clients’ access, favorable voting or insight to move a personal agenda forward?
   Sadly, there are many pimps among us and they have the money to buy, control or undermine and corrupt the political processes at the expense of voters.  
   Average voters are those attempting to fairly utilize the political system for quality candidates without having to pay a premium…using "Dark Money."

Convention Definition:
While sitting in a bar in the mid-70s, Gary Dahl decided the best pet to have should be one which did not require food, grooming, exercising, or taking neighborhood strolls and leaving yard presents.  As it turned out, his creation for this ‘new pet’ would be a smooth Mexican stone.  And thus was born the Pet Rock craze.  An owner’s manual even instructed those, who purchased a Pet Rock, on how to make the Pet Rocks "sit," "roll over," and other unique tricks.
Current Day Usage:
   (From the CCRs blog site: Glossary of the CCR) "Currently, there is a small number of city council members who will blindly follow QueenB VD on any issue she dictates.  And when listening to their rationale before voting, as the queen has commanded, those individuals sound like parrots, with verbal diarrhea, spouting talking points.  Citizens should be distraught over the activities of Pet Rocks, due to the fact the individuals ran on a platform of being ‘independent thinkers’ who would listen to the will of the people, and would not be swayed by PAC, special interest concerns or mega-campaign contributors.  Of course, when money or the queen talks, several on the council are all ears for the conversation!"
   (And like the original Pet Rocks, isn’t it amazing how the queen has trained her Pet Rocks to sit, roll over and follow her dictates while their ‘tails’ wag?)

Conventional Definition:
"In Greek mythology, a harpy was a female monster in the form of a bird with a human face. They would steal food from their victims while they are eating and carry evildoers (especially those who have killed their family) to the Erinyes. The term is often used metaphorically to refer to a nasty or annoying woman. In Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing, Benedick spots the sharp-tongued Beatrice approaching and exclaims to the Prince, Don Pedro, that he would do an assortment of arduous tasks for him "rather than hold three words conference with this harpy!"    
Current Day Usage:
   QueenB VDs flock of Flying Harpies and mini-Hobbits band together in a local blog-cave where they incessantly push and promote the queen’s Red Meat TEA-carnivore dogma which clogs the ethernet with cholesterol-laden blather.  Being the 5% of the population, as they believe they are, which is gifted with total insight, possession of all facts and the oration and literary skills of a mute mime, the harpies and mini-hobbits do not tolerate differing opinions, sound logic, or negative opinions which shine a less than favorable light on QueenB VDs activities.
   After all, the harpies and mini-hobbits believe in the queenly doctrine of "Squid pro quo" which means they douse ebony ink postings over any statement, opinion and adverse comment by a non-believer on their Keep Irving Divisive FaceBook page.
   In essence, the harpies and mini-hobbits make the Stepford Wives and the Manchurian Candidate appear to be normal citizens spreading good will and cheer while they are actually (here’s that non-dirty word again) pimping for a specific politico…QueenB VD.

   Yes, dear readers, the world— and even 'beautiful downtown Irving' — is full of Pimps, Flying Harpies and Pet Rocks.  They are everywhere.
   And for those who pay to receive the favors, recognition, products, or sponsor a self-interest agenda…the pimps are alive, well and thriving by accepting any and all coin of the realm offered.  

   All of this, in turn, allows the Flying Harpies to flutter and drop queenly adulations, repost the queen’s facts fabrications and pen vindictive babbling to those opposed to the hidden agendas of political pimps. 

   While all of this is happening, the Pet Rocks are rolling around the council chamber wagging their tails and free, following the dictates of the queen, to vote as told.  

   Basically, these three categories of political operatives are the primary reason Irving’s political processes have reached the lowest point in the city’s history during the past six years.  

   Warning: Beware the Ides of the 2016 Council Elections.  The convergence of these three forces will attempt to establish a new low in voter representation on the Irving City council which will ensure negative publicity continues to ‘blacken the eye’ of the city and allow special interest concerns to control major undertakings.  And this force will soon materialize after the first of the New Year. 
   Is this the path a vibrant city should want to pursue?

   If voters fail to eliminate the throes of being controlled by a Sugar Daddy handler, single source developers, "Dark Money" pimps, special interest concerns and cronies of QueenB VD, then the ICVB should immediately start branding Irving as the New Bunny Ranch of North Texas.

   And if this happens, then the force was not with the good citizens of 'beautiful downtown Irving.' 

   Where is Yoda when really need him, Obi Wan Kenobi?

……………………………………………Mark Holbrook