Friday, April 15, 2016

CCR 04-15-16 Selling Out?

the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”

"Selling Out?"

   Ever since QueenB VD straddled Irving’s city monument marker in front of city hall (and posted the picture on her "Government Official" FaceBook page on 04-04-16), the reaction has been less than favorable.
   (Being a ‘family’ publication, staff of the CCR will not post the disgusting photo which demeans Irving’s office of the mayor.) 

   Some dear readers of the CCR wanted to know, if in the picture she posted, was she: Selling baseball tickets; promoting a leg hair removal product; or demonstrating she is the queen and this is her new throne. 
   (For the record: the city’s hazmat team washed and sprayed the monument marker in an attempt to remove any traces of political slime which may have been left on the signage.)

   While most realize this shabby self-aggrandizing action by the queen was just another attempt to pump up her photo op collection, many did not realize she might have ulterior motives at hand — actual product endorsements.

   Word has filtered out that QueenB VD, with the assistance of her high-priced Dallas PR consultant, has a very full schedule: Lecturing Red Meat TEA-carnivores around North Texas; playing mane-flipping-puppet while fabricating facts on Glenn Beck’s new program where he demonstrates Ted "Lizard Grin" Cruz is "anointed" to be president while also stating Cruz demonstrates he is in the same league as "Moses"…leading the righteous to the ballot box; and waterboarding her Pet Rocks into submission. 

   To achieve her increased demand for daily photo ops, coupled with this new commercial venture, QueenB VD will employ her doppelgänger to assist in meeting all the scheduled product promotions and commercial ad photo shoots.
   (Most would agree, the queen’s doppelgänger looks as if it could be her egotistical twin sister separated at birth.) 

   While many new deals, including single source developers, are still in the discussion stages, Dylan Westie, Executive editor/Part-time wordsmith and Social Media Troll for the CCR, has managed to obtain a few leaked photos of the queen’s initial self-promotion ads featuring her doppelgänger. 

   Remember, when you support QueenB VD, by buying the products she endorses, you are also supporting research to hopefully find a cure for NPD.

…………………………………..Mark Holbrook

QueenB VDs Possible Product Endorsements

"Cronies, single source developers and 'Dark Money' donors: This is where I can make it all happen for you."

"My queen chills and slurps Dos Equis XX before browbeating her Pet Rocks."

"My 'cock in the fight' Escort Services will keep your roosters at home and your hens pleased.

"Let me supply Red Meat for your next TEA-carnivore gathering.  Facts fabrications included at no extra charge."