the Controversial Committee Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”
"Rx - Take w/Food"
Score another coup for Dylan Westie, Executive editor/Part-time wordsmith and Social Media Troll for the CCR, as he managed to obtain the latest medical records for QueenB VD.
Knowing how her continuous lack of transparency would prevent the minions of the realm to ever know her true physical and mental condition, the CCR agreed to publish this report for all concerned, future voters.
Without a doubt, QueenB VD might be suffering from some mystical malady as she cranks up her mayoral re-election campaign…which she hasn’t announced at this time.
The signs are definitely noticeable by all those who remember her previous campaign promises of: transparency; eliminating single source developers; taking the monied interest out of council elections; ethics reform; and being involved with conducting affairs which benefit the entire city.
Instead, citizens — during her six-year reign — have been treated to witnessing: a single source developer for the Texas Stadium site; utilization of "Dark Money" in an attempt to re-elect her Pet Rocks on the council (which failed); having Pet Rocks pass (5-4 vote For) the useless and disingenuous State HB 562 city council resolution; prance all over north Texas spreading fact fabricated fulminations to TEA-party sycophants; causing Irving to be the brunt of unenlightened embarrassment on a national level due to her mutterings; and flooding the social media with her self-indulgent postings.
In an effort to keep uninformed potential voters in line, QueenB VD, with the advice of her highly priced Dallas PR consultant, agreed to keep all her medical records private.
(Her belief follows the thinking of what voters don’t know can’t harm her.)
Her medical records, she believed, might clearly demonstrate she was suffering from a series of political conditions. And if those conditions were aired…this just might demonstrate how unfit and capable of campaigning, for re-election as mayor, she would be.
(Since the queen’s highly paid Dallas PR consultant was not able to have Dr. Oz or Dr. Lisa Bardack provide this medical exam or a summary letter, Dr. Ima Quackerson was chosen. He reached QueenB VD on his new iPhone 7® and conducted a ten minute interview before issuing the following report.)
Here is the report Dylan Westie uncovered…which the queen didn’t want exposed. This medical summary certainly answers many of the questions citizens have noticed over the past six years.
From the Desk Of:
Dr. Ima Quackerson, FPBS, PhD in NPD, Certified Personality Profiler
3113 Guileful Parkway
Irving, TX 75093
TO: Whom It May Concern Potential Irving Voters QueenB VD
In a phone consultation with QueenB VD, I have arrived at the following medical conclusions. These issues are documented in order for the queen to hide full disclosure of her current medical history when she hits the upcoming campaign trail.
* Her health is OK for the conditions (noted below) which she might have or want to be hidden from the general public.
* Her ability to campaign is fine…only if taking the prescribed medications.
* Her abilities for fact fabrications are outstanding and enhanced with the required medications.
Since all the medical issues discussed would not appear to be ‘normal’ in most (political) patients, I have recommended the following prescriptions for QueenB VD in order for her to appear ‘normal.’
If taken in the proper prescribed doses, the medications will make her appear to be a ‘normal’ self-serving and self-aggrandizing politico while campaigning. The daily doses should also quell: voter perceptions of her ‘team work’ abilities; pseudo-leadership skills; placing her self-interest above those of voters; lack of attending to actual city business; and amassing a humongous portfolio of photo ops and YouTube inane Red Meat TEA-carnivore babbling which had nothing to do with city operations, her duties as mayor, or making Irving a better community.
QueenB VDs Rx Requirements:
Hydromnesia: 150 MG, 3 tabs/day will assist the patient in forgetting all the details of political grief, to the city, caused by her embracing and fostering Red Meat TEA-carnivore actions and dogma. This medication also erases her remembering the forcing of four Pet Rocks to pass (5-4 vote For) the disingenuous State HB 562 city council resolution.
Rosuverity: 25 MG, 6 tabs/day will ensure the patient doesn’t falter and actually blab the truth about her dismal city council record, self-imagined achievements, and the mismanagement of her official mayoral duties.
Quinaperksme: 400 MG, 1 tab/day permits the queen to: accept false praise; Sugar Daddy benefits and fawning; "Dark Money" campaign assistance; and the creative synapses to post Torofeca and meme items on her social media accounts.
Plavafits: 100 MG, 3 tabs/day will help manage the verbal outbursts, browbeating and attempts at intimidating fellow council members to do as she dictates to sate her self-interest.
Advil®: 75 MG, 1 tab/hour when in a meeting or TEA-party speaking engagement to ease the aches and pains of mane flipping. While this condition is chronic, surgery to completely ease the discomfort is not advised at this time.
Finally, please know you can count on me to be in your corner and willing to prescribe whatever future medications you might require for your re-election efforts…god save the queen.
And there you have it, dear readers. With all this potential new pill popping by QueenB VD, there will be one noticeable side effect and drawback…she’ll need to cart a 5# bag of Imperial® pure cane sugar with her for every re-election campaign stop.
The forced smile, mane flip and pill popping observed will also cause her to hum the prescription-induced tune of "a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down."
Sadly, while the medicine may go down, the sugar and medications will still not erase or sweeten the history of her disastrous track record as mayor.
However, the constant humming of this medicinal ditty by QueenB VD will be a pleasant sound to uninformed and low information voters, Flying Harpies and Red Meat TEA-carnivore sycophants.