the Controversial Committee Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”
R. I. P.
Dylan,”Almost” Mayor of Irving, Westie
March 25, 2004 — August 4, 2019
With heavy sadness, the staff of the CCR regrets to announce that Dylan Westie has trotted off to a new home in an ethereal dog park. He will be deeply missed by: his longtime guardians; Mexican rat-dog cousin, Roo; feral feline adoptees, Blackie and Stitch; readers of the CCR; and a host of bumbling politicos. However, his woofing legacy is fully entrenched, for future readers on the Internet, with years of postings on the CCR blog site.
As the Executive editor/Part-time wordsmith and Social Media Troll for the CCR, Dylan managed to have all four paws on the pulse of the local political scene. His contributions to the CCR reports were based on presenting actual facts to readers, and leaving the condescending, Torofeca-rhetoric to the politicos. And he realized that when it came to Torofeca-rhetoric, politicos could load and stuff twelve pounds into a five pound bag.
Many will remember Dylan as………
Dylan Westie — Community Activist
Is there any stronger way to serve your community than being mayor of your city? While Dylan was by far the best candidate not on the ballot in 2014, he received more oral votes and head patting support than his two opponents combined. After all, he was the only candidate who could legitimately claim to be an AKC registered son-of-a-bitch. His opponents did not have the legal paperwork to prove the same!
Not taking any money from lobbyist, corporate PACs, or special interest gamers, Dylan funded his entire campaign with the Dylan Westie PAC (Puppies Are Cute) of personal funds.
Unexpectedly, Dylan’s mayoral campaign immediately went viral and he had media outlets around the world recognizing his efforts to bring political harmony and stability to ‘beautiful downtown Irving.’ Even today, individuals in Irving lament the fact he was not elected mayor.
Dylan’s platform was simple, understandable, and struck a common cord with denizens of 'beautiful downtown Irving.' Here is what Dylan promised voters he would not do had his name made the mayoral ballot:
- Accept campaign contributions, have a campaign “Sugar Daddy,’ or allow strings to be attached to my voting paw.
- Conduct any illegal meetings or city business behind closed doors.
- Travel on the city’s dime to Saudi Arabia, China, Las Vegas, Missouri or on someone else’s dime.
- Take any prescribed medications for NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) , high BP, or schizophrenic disorders.
- Jump out of an airplane, shoot baskets, or leap over a tennis net for a photo op.
- Stymie ideas of others because it was not my idea in the first place.
- Use the term “I” or “me” when recognizing city accomplishments.
- Abandon the old downtown heritage area for north Irving special interest.
- Accept any free sporting ducats under my front door mat.
To understand the impact his candidacy had, the following is just a small sample of coverage Dylan received regarding his campaign. For a full perspective of the coverage, Google — Dylan Westie.
Dallas Morning News
Avi Selk
http://www.dallasnews.com/news/community-news/irving/headlines/20140218-paperwork-errors-not-species-sink-dog-candidate-for-irving-mayor.ece (There is also a video by David Woo of Dylan that can be played off the above link.)
Texas Monthly
Dallas Observer
Eric Nicholson: http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/unfairpark/2014/02/in_irving_a_dog_is_running_for.php
New York Daily News
Leslie Larson:
Boston Globe
http://www.boston.com/community/pets/blogs/pet_chatter/2014/02/texas_dog_owner_files_paperwor.html (There is also a video clip with this write-up.)
United Press International (UPI)
Thanh Nien Online (Vietnam)
NBCDFW Ch 5 TV
KGUN Las Vegas Ch 9 TV
KSHB Kansas City Ch 41 TV
CBS DFW Ch 11 TV
New Delhi Television (India)
In addition to his brief romp in the political arena, Dylan was also an avid tweeter with over 1,500 tweets posted. He later closed his Twitter and FaceBook accounts due to the rash of data mining of accounts by Zuckerberg and Dorsey. His data, of his addictive canine preferences (BaconBits), was sold to advertisers and dark web hackers. He later learned a Russian Borzoi Wolfhound had hacked his account and was blaming him for why Hillary Clinton lost the presidential election of 2016.
Dylan Westie — Environmentalist
Dylan fought — incisors and paws — with State legislators to change the regulations regarding Texas’ State flower, bluebonnets. If it is now okay to pick these State treasures, then why shouldn’t canines be allowed to also lick, or eat them? Dylan’s rationale, for this legislative boondoggle, boiled down to discrimination — humans vs. canines.
Dylan Westie — Investor
Dylan's only source of income was the one gig he had as a model for the Army-Air Force Exchange's Christmas poster which was placed in exchange stores world-wide. While he didn't receive as much in compensation as his partner in the poster, he did invest his earnings in Purina common stock. This investment provided enough income, in dividends, to always have a large stock of "BaconBits" on hand.
Dylan Westie — Merchandiser
Seeing the need to spice up the local political processes in 'beautiful downtownIrving,' Dylan created his own brand of hot sauce. He called it: "Dylan’s Leg Hiking Hot Sauce." The sauce was given to CCR readers, good friends, and coffee shop associates. In retrospect, he probably should have given a bottle to ex-mayor BVD as the label on his sauce called attention to her self-aggrandizing photo op activities. The label noted: “Hotter Than QueenB VD.”
Dylan Westie — Enforcer of National Security
As a firm believer in border security, Dylan spent many hours ensuring illegal alien ducks couldn’t sneak through the fence into his private and well 'marked' domain, of the backyard, to eat any leftover BaconBits, or PupPeroni crumbs. During his vigilant watch at the back door, he managed to have over 1,300 illegal alien ducks deported back to Canada. Eh? (Pic shows Dylan observing an illegal alien duck before going into enforcement mode.)
Dylan Westie — Family Member
While there are many additional attributes and community involvement activities which Dylan supported, his main purpose during his 105-years (15 human years x 7 ) was always to be the very best furry member of his guardian’s family. And he served this purpose with great zeal, dignity, and face licking.
His soulful, round black eyes and fluffy white coat could fill one with joy…even when being scrubbed, washed, cleaned, sprayed, and soaped after having an unsuccessful encounter with a skunk in the back yard. Although the aroma of Dylan’s skunk encounter remained for several days — even after additional washings — he still prided himself in knowing that skunks just didn’t belong, and were not welcome in his guardian’s back yard…period.
Like all canines, Dylan couldn’t talk, but he could understand -- at a higher level than an Aggie attempting to determine how many years comprise fourscore -- many different commands, body language, and finger pointing!
He could “speak” with a variable chorus of barks, moans, sighs, and whimpers. His understanding of words was amazing. His favorite words to hear were: groomer, outside, BaconBits, and cats. Hearing any of these utterances always elicited his quick response and a “happy dance” -- with tail wagging faster than a metronome registering 130 BPM -- to attend to what was being mentioned.
Dylan was one of the best lunch partners around. While maintaining a steady diet of Royal Canin pet food, he did have the opportunity to “snack” at noon on a couple of his favorite items: Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes, cheese of any variety, Golden Chick French fries, and lemon pound cake from Starbucks for morning breakfast. There was no need for him to worry about gaining a few extra pounds, as chasing the family's feral cats around the backyard burned off those calories and provided his daily aerobic workout.
Knowing there is not the likelihood that new West Highland White Terrier paws will be replacing the indelible marks Dylan made over the years with his guardians, the memories of his short presence on planet Earth in Irving will be remembered. And the silence of his paws running across the hardwood floors will always be loud and clear in minds.
Dylan, enjoy that grand ethereal dog park, and the sniffing of new friends. Be sure to hook up with your step-brother, Oreo the Shih Tzu, and tell him he is still missed, too.
………………………………….............Mark Holbrook
Note:
From a 6-week old puppy to aging canine, Dylan received the very best possible care and attention from veterinarian, Dr. Steve Peterman of VitalPet in Irving. Gracious thanks and profound appreciation to Dr. Peterman for such terrific attention and service of providing for Dylan's needs and care!
Note:
From a 6-week old puppy to aging canine, Dylan received the very best possible care and attention from veterinarian, Dr. Steve Peterman of VitalPet in Irving. Gracious thanks and profound appreciation to Dr. Peterman for such terrific attention and service of providing for Dylan's needs and care!
( controversialcommittee.blogspot.com )
