Friday, April 1, 2011

BS #15: It Could Happen

BlogSpasm #15…..April 1, 2011.....SPECIAL DAY EDITION

DATELINE: Irving, Texas

  • Declaring a state of fiscal emergency, Irving’s city manager (Capo Gonzalez) will issue pink slips to 137 staff members. He says this drastic financial measure is necessary in order to achieve 6 Sigma goals and have funds available for essential city services...particularly, his annual salary increase.
  • TMZ is reporting that the director of the ground breaking TV program “Sister Wives” is preparing to shoot a spin off series, “Brother Husbands.” He has cast Irving’s Trojan Barbie in the lead role. Citing VanDuyne’s previous campaign experiences and her mane flipping talents while serving on the city council, the director gushed, “she’s a natural.”
  • Irving police announced the arrest of mayor Gears and Billy Bob at the Four Seasons Resort on charges of making gris-gris amulets without a Louisiana permit. The confiscated amulets -- many with multiple pins stuck in them -- were being used to inflict Voodoo spells and hexes on those who were not supportive of their religious tenets or financial plans for the Entertainment Center project.
  • Animal Planet will be releasing, on May 14, 2011, their second season of the highly acclaimed family series: “Rabid Weasel: Searching again for elusive Irving voters.” The series was shot on location on Irving Heights and will also feature mayoral candidate Spink as the narrator. The producer is currently casting to find an aide to whisper all the dialog in Spink’s ear.
  • There will be a ribbon cutting hosted by the Lubbock Mafia as Delbert McDougal celebrates the opening of his all new and completed Historic District housing and business development center in the old downtown area. Featured in the new development for immediate sale and move-in will be 425 sq. ft. log cabin homes, a blacksmith shop and a farmer’s market shed. Attendees are asked to bring their own fried chicken and Mason jar (the Kool-Aid is free) to this picnic on the grounds event.

……………………….Mark Holbrook