Thursday, September 20, 2012

IISD #23: Free Bologna

IISD Admin Lunchroom Chatter # 23 

Nosher #1: I think I have figured out why some administrators and board members may be weighing in on the chunky side.   

Nosher #2:  Why is that?  Are genetics involved?

Nosher #1:  No!  It’s due to all the free meals consumed and paid for by tax payers.  It is almost like these administrators and board members have a district issued Debit card for the daily buffet at CiCi’s Pizza.

Nosher #2:  I agree.  The recent $50,000 payment to the Irving chamber of commerce is a classic example and proof positive of their free lunch regimen.  We are paying for all these individuals to attend lavish ‘rubber chicken’ banquets.  Actually, there is at least $20,000+ of the $50,000 chamber payment dedicated for eating by administrators and board members.  And this doesn’t include district cost for all the free meals we provide at their meetings. 

Nosher #1:  Other than all the extra pounds gained from these free meals, it has yet to be determined how attendance at one of the chamber soirees has improved test scores, lowered the property tax rate, or assisted teachers in the trenches.  And the spin some board members placed on approving this $50,000 payment causes one to need a Heinrich maneuver.  (The vote was 4-3 for approval by: Huffstetler, V. Jones, Christian and Craig.)

Nosher #2:  I think I have a workable solution.  Forego the $50,000 payment to the chamber and enroll administrators and board members in the Meal on Wheels program.  Think of the bucks saved and what it will do for their waistlines.  

Nosher #1:  This would be better than the bologna sandwich I have to scarf down in this lunchroom.  And my bologna is much fresher than the voting rationale-bologna the four board members are slicing for public consumption.

A note from counsel: These “candid” lunchroom conversations have been injected with fabricated nouns, verbs, adjectives, conjunctions, adverbs, modifiers and maybe a few dangling participles.  Mark Holbrook