Wednesday, January 1, 2014

CCRs dwT #54: Happy New Year??

Dylan sez…
(a short and timely jotting for CCR twits Tweeters)


dwT #54:   As previously noted, New Year’s resolutions are not something the CCR considers useful or endorses.  However, the CCR does believe that if enough effort is given to any endeavor, then it just might be possible for the local media to capture the essence of a good story with an awesome (really hate that word) headline.  

Backstory clue for the information impaired:   What with all that might transpire in 2014, Irving citizens could benefit, by a large measure, if the following headlines should become a reality.  

mayor BVD Fails Again...Cannot Count To Five
Irving ISD Board Allows New Super To Run District
New Library Site Renamed...Millennium Pond II
Puffing Betcha Bingo Ladies Gain Council Control
Carport Ordinance Awarded “Architectural Digest” Honors 
City Budget Document Reduced To Fifty Pages
LaMorgese/Farris Named Kabuki Twerking Partners 
Developer Buys, Razes And Rebuilds Entire Heritage District 
Harper-Brown Drives Toyota On Campaign Trail
New Entertainment Center Bests Tilton Revival Tent Attendance Records
Harper-Brown Reimburses Constituents For Front License Plates
Ex-mayor Gears Enters Political Rehab
mayor BVD Treated For Council Meeting Phubbing Disorder
Chamber Of Commerce Hires Data Prognosticator
Gables Residential Driveway Used For Emergency Plane Landing
mayor BVD Accidentally Crushed By “Robert’s Rules of Order” Pamphlet 
mayor BVD Scores Sand-Icing Contract With Saudi Arabia 
City Animal Control Officers Monitor Council Cat Fights
mayor BVD Apologizes To Farris And LaMorgese For Broken Noses
May Voting Sidelined By Pandemic Of PADD (Political Attention Deficit Disorder)
CRAP (Citizens Revolting Against Politicos) PAC Endorses “NOTA”
CCR Honored With ‘Constant Contrarian Award’ 

A note from counsel: Some “Tweets” from Dylan Westie, Executive Editor and Part-time Wordsmith for the CCR, have been injected with fabricated nouns, verbs, adjectives, conjunctions, adverbs, modifiers and maybe a few dangling participles….Mark Holbrook