Sunday, March 9, 2014

CCR 03-09-14: An Open Letter To Irving Voters

the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”

Dear CCR Readers --     
     The past two weeks have been surreal.  From the day my petition was filed to run for mayor of Irving until this past Friday’s interview with a Houston radio station (KTRH 740 AM, Clear Channel Media), the responses have been amazing and somewhat baffling.  And sadly, the encouragement given to this mayor’s race for a registered West Highland White Terrier reflect so many are feed up with dry dog food politics as usual and are looking for positive change...or significant change from the status quo of leadership Irving has witnessed the past nine years.

     Without sounding braggadocio, my efforts to run for mayor of Irving have stretched worldwide (just Google: Dylan Westie) and this was done without spending one red cent, or two million blue ones.  Let’s see the other two mayoral candidates have this ‘political bang’ in their campaigns to match what a canine, only interested in the citizens and not his ego, has done without spending any money.

     Okay, the following list is genuine braggadocio, but represents just a few of my favorite media items that have hit the Internet and produced the millions of dollars in ‘free advertising’ for my campaign.  Click on any of the links and have a chuckle...I did:

 TV Coverage: NBCDFW Ch 5 TV

Print Media: New York Daily News
Viet Nam
(I’m a bit worried after seeing this article with my picture.  I’m not sure if it is an endorsement or a recipe for cooking me.)

Radio (podcast): KTRH 740, Clear Channel Media, Houston, TX

     While my petition to run for Irving mayor was ‘technically’ flawed, allow me to defend the effort.  First, the petition signatures were from legitimate, registered voters of the city.  Requiring sixty signatures was just too tiring for my short legs to achieve.  My ‘signature’ was not on the signed petition forms as I did not want to take a chance of having a possible reaction to toxic ink on my paw when stamping the forms.  As far as not being a ‘registered’ Dallas County voter...grrrr (that’s animal onomatopoeia for Torofeca).  I am a registered son of a bitch with the American Kennel Club and this trumps any registration papers the other two candidates running for mayor might muster.  And finally, you attempt to find a lawyer who will notarize petitions for a canine to run for a city-wide, elective office!  Even the ambulance chasing attorneys shied away.

     And I can assure you that my platform of “As Your Mayor, I Will Not still resonates with the Irving citizenry.  No false promises or hollow rhetoric there.  If you do not recall all the ‘planks’ in my pledge to voters, review the report on the CCRs, February 17, 2014, blog posting.  My planks are guaranteed splinter free...unlike those of the two other candidates who want to spend your tax bucks with abandon and inflate their egos another 27-psi. during the campaign.  

     Many are asking: “If Dylan is not on the official ballot, what can I do?”  While I cannot encourage, suggest, or insist on writing-in my name, as opposed to voting for one of the other two curs candidates, I can offer information as to what it would take to do so.  And the response is not going to please many Irving folks this election cycle.

     Once again: The ‘system’ has conspired against the canine element.  In order to be a write-in candidate for Irving mayor, one must file the same paperwork as a regular candidate within a stated period of time as noted in the election code.  (This year the write-in deadline was the same day as the last day to file for regular candidates.  Who knew?)  Write-in filing requires the same paperwork, same number of signatures and same notarization of forms!  If completed properly, Dallas county election officials would then place a ‘blank space’ on the ballots for potential write-in candidates.  Shouldn’t there automatically be a blank space for write-in candidates on every ballot?  Shouldn’t this be changed immediately...especially since electronic voting is the current standard?  How does one ‘write-in’ a name with the new electronic balloting system?  Why not have a paper ballot to complete for those who will want to write-in a name for one of the races?  

     Also to be considered: The odds of any successful write-in vote to carry an election, especially in a city the size of Irving, are insurmountable.  However, any votes written-in could be a strong message to the next mayor of Irving that positive change in the leadership of the city must occur.  Clearly, citizens of Irving are weary of all the bickering, split votes by factious parties, and egos placed ahead of what is beneficial to the overall welfare of the city.  Not to mention all the scandalous and nearly slanderous swill of Flying Harpies on FaceBook!

     Regardless of the upcoming election outcome, just remember one thing...I’ll still be wordsmithing for the CCR, looking over politico shoulders and letting you know when inane actions have happened or are about to happen.

     With my most sincere and appreciative ‘arfs,’ I sign off on this unofficial/nearly final concession letter to all my Irving and International campaign supporters using the official campaign slogan that has sparked a mini-revolution for change in Irving’s leadership: “Lift a leg for Paw Power!”  Power to the pooches?

Kindest personal and canine regards,
Dylan Westie
Executive Editor and Part-time Wordsmith for the CCR, and almost Mayor of Irving

     While we understand Dylan’s current position, we know that he will still be a tireless and instrumental element of the CCR.  In fact, he has already pitched a column draft for the Place 5 city council race between Rose Cannaday and Oscar Ward.  He has uncovered a “conspiracy theory” that points to mayor BVD and her Flying Harpies wanting to add another Pet Rock to her council membership collectionWarning:  If she should accomplish this, it would be to the delight of her already noted Pet Rock-members, Farris and LaMorgese.

     Stay tuned to the CCR.  There is still plenty of fur to kick off the cats.

………………………...Mark Holbrook

P.S.  Dylan has a large stack of autographed pics of him in the field of bluebonnets remaining.  We understand these photos are outselling those of mayor BVD, jumping out of an airplane, on e-Bay.