Friday, May 30, 2014

CCR 05-30-14: Downtown Wheelie

the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”

     By now, just about anyone who has ever had a burger, malt or filled a prescription at Big State Drugs has registered or wailed their comments, chagrin and concerns.  Well, not everyone...the CCR is ready to state their thoughts, opinions and comments on this iconic Irving landmark.  (After all, the Dylan tweet on May 26th did start this ball rolling on who the new tenant would be...pat, pat.)

     Our days of frequenting Big State Drugs go back to the era when Clay Burney ran the show...through the time Brian Smith entered the scene and stayed another twenty years.  And if you never knew Clay Burney, then you definitely missed one of Irving’s live wires.  The Irving Rotary Club did not need an entertainment chairman handling the program if Clay was in attendance.  Funny, serious and dedicated to the community...that was Clay.  And to the same extent, Brian also gelled into the community mould successfully...but with less humor!  (Sorry, Brian.)

     To the issue at hand.  If believers in the community really fancy resurrection, then disappointment is entering the highway ramp to heaven wherever.  Big State Drugs is dead.  Big State Drugs is not coming back to life.  Big State Drugs is now a collection of memories in one’s synapses.  And those who believe otherwise are merely creating chaotic disturbances within their limited brain cells.  Why?

     Memories will not make a burger taste today the way it tasted years ago.  Memories will not create the proper thickness of a malt today the way it did years ago.  More importantly, a new and reconstructed layout and setting (including some old Crystal’s Pizza Parlor antiques?) will only serve to create a host of new memories that will not, in all good faith, match or equal the fondness of bygone days.  Solution: Deal with it.  Big State Drugs is now just a memory and does not have an afterlife.  No resurrection here!  Prepare for a new baptism of modernity...with a 50s theme. 

     While staff of the CCR applauds the hometown folks who will serve to create this new beginning for the corner of Main and Irving Boulevard, we wish them every success.  When hometown folks run the show, the atmosphere is not clogged with corporate edicts, mind numbing policies, or forgetfulness of how to serve customers and the community.

     Added to the hometown atmosphere, there is nothing better than a grease dripping bun that houses a grand-patty of real beef (no fillers) squeezed between shredded lettuce, tomato and onion (our preference is white, not red) with a very generous coating of mustard...hold the pickles.  Create this and we’re there!  And if the history of how the hometown folks successfully run their Dallas location is indicative, then prepare for a downtown ‘burnout’ of success.

     However, what would the CCR be if we didn’t offer our profound (and never sought) advice, tips and opinions on how to make the corner of Main and Irving Boulevard the best and newest establishment in town folks will want to frequent?  Not only frequent and enjoy, but drop into a lower gear and become a regular customer.

     Staff of the CCR believes the first step to this goal will be to not use the proposed name “Big State Fountain and Grill.”  Really!  How squishy sounding is that?  The name of the establishment for this proposed new eatery in ‘beautiful downtown Irving’ must resonate.  The name must alert folks to a place they want to frequent, be seen downing burgers while enjoying the ambiance of the establishment.  With that in mind, staff of the CCR proposes the new name be: Stroker’s Irving w/Biker Babes.

     Look, the new leaseholder of the old Big State Drugs site knows how to attract customers to his current establishment, knows what his customers desire, and provides food, drink and frivolity to keep them coming back for more.  And that is what will be needed for the long term success of his new operation in ‘beautiful downtown Irving.’

     Sure, the name might cause some ‘blue hairs’ to shriek in disdain, but then, those on fixed incomes might not even become regulars.  Irving hog riders, white collar ‘rice rocket’ owners, former judge and council members, and folks who just like the thrill of speed and custom bikes will flock to the downtown area in packs.  The problem will be parking, not the quality of food or name that will turn folks away...and that could be a good problem to have.  The name should be the drawing card, even if the front window does not have a life size poster of QueenB VD astride a hog, flashing those pearly whites, for the 83rd photo op since her coronation at city hall.

     Staff of the CCR would like to see ‘beautiful downtown Irving’ become the new ‘Harley Hog Heaven’ for all of us believers who pray at the altar of fast gears, grease stained hands and nails, and hair blowing in the wind (a condition we can no longer enjoy) while pushing a hog down Hwy 56 at speeds designed to blow the 1998 Toyota, with the left blinker constantly flashing, to the shoulder of the road.

     If you have these thoughts of what would be a great fit for the new downtown facility, then join the staff of the CCR and let’s start a drive to have the new facility named “Stroker’s Irving w/Biker Babes.”

     OK, we would even consider dropping the ‘w/Biker Babes’ if that would garner a few additional folks.  You with us?  

     Or, do you have a better suggestion?

………………...Mark Holbrook