Friday, January 30, 2015

CCR 01-30-15: CSI: Irving, TX

the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”

   Well, dear readers, staff of the CCR is still recovering from the shock of the article in the DMN concerning the thirty-year history of publishing the CCR report.  Why shock, you might ask?

   For starters, all of the e-mails, comments and other blog postings (except the one on the DMN site), were positive. Positive!  Shocking!  Is the CCR staff slipping?  Is medical attention required?  Do we need to start a daily Rx-dose of NPD tablets?

   Actually, the CCR wasn’t the true recipient of all the neat kudos, as most started off with "great article."  And for us, that’s great, because intrepid reporter and dealer in actual facts and information, Avi Selk of the DMN, did an outstanding job of presenting both sides of the report’s history.  The good, the bad and the cat kicking.

   Even though  he presented (gag reflex for trite and overused expression) a ‘fair and balanced’ approach with his writing, a couple items noted do require further examination…especially, statements made by individuals contained in the article.  And with that in mind, the CCR presents:

CSI: Beautiful Downtown Irving 
(An Autopsy on Misguided Information)

   Leave it to politicos or misinformed Kool-Aid sippers in their attempt to color information with Rust-Oleum® to protect their image or appearance.  Their thinking is: If I say it, they will believe it…regardless of what the facts or truth might be.

   So, put on your surgical face mask, don your rubber gloves and take notes as we dissect some unbelievable remarks made concerning the CCR article in the DMN which was titled: "With sharp pen, ex-councilman spins yarns, barbs."  Let the autopsy begin:

QueenB VD Doesn’t Read Anymore?
   Perhaps, the most disingenuous comment made in the entire DMN article was by QueenB VD.  Always one to be in top form when it comes to press relations or photo ops (especially when she wants something or decides to talk to the media), the queen made this declaration concerning the CCR reports in the article:

“Haven’t read them,” she said. “Not in years.”

   While it would be an almost understandable stretch she hasn’t read them in years (snicker), staff would like to point out that years does mean at least two or more.  Correct?  
   Well, staff hates to toss factual information at the queen’s throne, but on November 8, 2013, (which is less than ‘years’ ago), she sent the following e-mail to the CCR staff: 

"Please remove me from your email list."

   Okay, if one concedes she just let all the years of reports languish in her IN-box until this date, one would have to further assume that no one (not even a family member, Pet Rock or Flying Harpy) informed her of what was in the reports.  And the more this string of ‘non-reading’ by the queen is tugged, the more tangled it becomes.  

   For a seasoned politico, QueenB VD might need to brush up on her responses to legitimate questions by the media, sans spin, to make her responses at least seem creditable.  This might assist in curtailing some of the chuckles readers of the article are still experiencing. 

Sailing the Political Seas w/John Danish
   As hard as we try, staff of the CCR really attempts to keep from having to wordsmith about John Danish.  However, when Danish sticks his finger in the air to test the political winds to set his sails for a course which would garner support or votes, the comic relief is sometimes just too good to pass up.

   The following quote was in the DMN article.  Particular attention should be given to the postscript Danish proposed to the reporter.

“Though he has attempted to reach the celestial level of Mark Twain in the past 30 years, he still has a long way to go,” Danish quipped. “Please quote that one.”

   Look, staff of the CCR has not attempted to emulate or ever claimed the ability to wordsmith with the same literary finesse as Samuel Clemens.  (Have you forgotten our bean counter background?  Have you considered all the dangling participles hanging on the margins of the reports?) 

   The pseudonym, Mark Holbrook (not Mark Twain, Danish), as noted in the DMN article, was originally created on a lark and was designed to fashion a name which might register some familiarity with potential readers of the reports.

   Be that as it may, Danish felt another gale blowing and altered his sails to note the following quote in a later tweet by the reporter.

"…one of the great political satirists of Irving."

   Now, staff of the CCR is really confused: Do we have a long way to go, or have we already reached the pinnacle Danish has established concerning our efforts?  Maybe we should ask Danish for a third response to determine the CCRs standing.  Isn’t the third time always the charm?

Assisting the Terminally Misinformed
   A comment posted on the DMN FaceBook account reflected some folks still don’t understand, or choose not to understand.  In the 21st Century, one wonders when they will crawl out of the cave of self-absorbing thought and see the light of reality.

   In a snarky comment to the reporter regarding his article, this individual stated: 

"You missed a few of the more colorful and nasty ‘code’ words, Avi Selk... how about the Whale?"

   No, the reporter of the article did not miss any "colorful" monikers, especially the one the obtuse reader was attempting to pass off as fact.  And seriously?  There are no "nasty" ones in the glossary.  (Well, maybe Torofeca verges on the downside if one wants to get technical!)

   As noted over several years and even included in the CCRs glossary located on the blog site, this poster was awash in wanting to create controversy where none existed.  A simple check of the glossary would have spared the poster a heap of embarrassment as the term ‘Whale’ has not been used in CCR reports.  However, the term ‘Whale Rider’ was used quite often.  The following is noted in Glossary of the CCR:

   "Whale Rider   This is probably the most misunderstood term ever used in a CCR report.  "Whale Rider" is a movie wherein a young Maori girl must ride a whale to become the leader of her tribe.  She does this in a very inspiring way.  (Good flick, check it out.)  When first used in the CCR to identify the campaign activities of Linda Harper-Brown, staff of the CCR was severally browbeaten and chastised for alluding to, in their opinion, her weight.  WRONG!  Whales in politics are the individuals who contribute large sums of money to campaigns with the expectation of having issues resolved in their favor.  As was demonstrated over many years in the reports, she collected mega-PAC and mega-Special Interest bucks which finally concluded with the Texas Ethics Commission fining her for campaign finance irregularities.  Harper-Brown did ride the donor whales of "easy money" during her entire political career in the Texas legislature.  Ergo: Whale Rider fit Harper-Brown to perfection.  We could state ‘we told you so,’ to all the critics, for all the years her shady finances were documented and presented in CCR reports, but staff of the CCR does not suffer from PPP."

   Well, this concludes the autopsy of the DMN article by Avi Selk concerning the CCRs history of publication.  Staff would like to thank all those who commented, sent notes and remain faithful readers on the mailing list.  As stated over the years, the reports are not designed to effect change, but rather to alert those interested in city affairs to understand that all is not as the politicos often spout or blather.  Politico mutterings should be taken with several grains of salt, parsed and decoded for full understanding.

   And with that, the CCR staff will check with Danish to see where the winds of controversy are blowing this week and what direction he has set his sails…we’ll tack 180° off his port side.

……………………………..Mark Holbrook

Just in case you missed reading the DMN article, here’s the link: