Saturday, June 20, 2015

CCR 06-20-15 Rock Recombinant?

the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”

   With sadness, staff of the CCR regrets to inform you that one of QueenB VDs Pet Rocks has passed on to the glorious gravel pit in the great beyond.

   While a twisted tale exist, in the demise of Pet Rock Ward, staff of the CCR believes he is in a better place and will certainly reap the rewards so justly deserved for his heroic actions at the June 18, 2015, Irving City council meeting.

   Backstory:  Via her personal FaceBook page, QueenB VD proceeded to weave a pseudo-issue concerning the AMLI public pocket park which was being funded by TIF (not General Fund tax bucks) appropriations.  The fact of the matter is…the queen has been against this entire project since its inception years ago.

   (To prove her revised stick-in-the-mud opposition to the project, QueenB VD did what one would expect — she shined the spotlight of self-absorbance on herself by playing a video of an old council meeting where she was blabbering incessantly.  This would truly be comical, if it wasn’t so sad as to how she consistently wants attention focused on her every action and activity.  Can you spell NPD?)

   Additionally, the queen mustered her Mother Superior of Flying Harpies and her entire flock, in an attempt to sway public opinion for this non-issue with their rabid, inaccurate, ridiculous, disingenuous, and inane postings on a local FaceBook blog site.  The comic relief this produced was that so many of the postings ended with the hash tag: #standwithBeth (now that’s a real snicker)

   Maybe this is an opportune time for QueenB VD to dictate, to her Flying Harpy flock, some more relevant hash tags.  The one currently being used just doesn’t seem to capture the political malfeasance being foisted on readers of the queen’s Flying Harpy FaceBook blog site.

   (Always wanting to be of service, staff of the CCR offers these hash tags for the exclusive use of the queen’s Flying Harpy flock for FaceBook postings.  Considering the queen’s ‘snit fit’ at the council meeting, these more expressive and accurate endings to FaceBook postings are required: #kowtowtoBeth; #'manufacturedtantrum'byBeth; #poutwithBeth; #obeytheQueen; #Queenalwaysright; #postedperQueentalkingpoints; #Wardwillexperiencemyvengance; #Queenlovesherselfonly; #gotaphotoop?; #IamRobert’sRules; #obeymeorperishpolitically; #TEAismyfuture; #KennyMarchantlookout; #IloveSugarDaddyydonors; IrvingOpportunityCouncilrules&buysvotes.) 

     Much like her shifting sands of flimsy mutterings on what the actual rationale was for the State HB 562 resolution (first "saving" the Constitution, then the queen changed her narrative to protecting "women’s rights"), QueenB VDs emphasis on her FaceBook page went from ‘calling out’ council members, who opposed her pseudo-concern, to declaring the $240K as "buying flowers" for a private developer.  

   Researchers of Irving history will not find where any other mayor has ever acted so unprofessional as to publicly attempt to embarrass sitting members of the council.  Mayors with common sense and decency just had better political manners than to do something this obnoxious.  

   (One must assume the queen has also forgotten about the millions of tax bucks she dolled out to Hines Development for their housing project to build streets, etc.  Will there be any flowers in the esplanades of this development?)

     Final Outcome:  Sound reasoning, good government and common sense prevailed when the council voted 5-3 to approve the remaining funding for the AMLI project.  And it was at this point former-Pet Rock Ward detoxed from the queen’s brew of mushroom dust-spiked TEA and saw the light…not the spotlight the queen was shining on herself.

   However, as expected, QueenB VD shifted into her self-aggrandizing mode before the final vote.  Like a petulant trust fund kid, she ranted, raved, interrupted, browbeat, flung snarky comments and, in general, attempted to demonstrate she was the only individual on the planet who knew what was best for Irving concerning this issue…her way or the highway.

   Of course, her inseparable Pet Rocks, Gerald (I favor both sides of every issue, but have to always follow the queen’s dictate) Farris and Brad (there is nothing I wouldn’t do to serve the queen) LaMorgese voted as expected…with the queen.  

   Councilman Ward beware: QueenB VD has consulted with her royal sorcerer to determine if a magic elixir exists as a recombinant for crumbled and wayward Pet Rocks.  Should one be discovered and you suddenly appear back in the royal court, then the queen’s spell will be stronger than Limburger cheese…and twice as odiferous.

   Yes, dear readers, Councilman Ward should be thanked for voting in the best interest of the city on this issue.  This was a watershed vote on his part.  And the citizenry will certainly benefit from his actions.  His vote demonstrated the council should always vote for the citizens, not the personal whims, agenda and inane actions of QueenB VD.

   (Until notified otherwise by the staff of the CCR, Councilman Ward has been removed from the list of QueenB VDs Pet Rock collection.  We sincerely hope he maintains this exalted status!)

    The next meeting of the Irving City council will include the newest council member, Phil Riddle.  Staff of the CCR will be monitoring his actions and activities to observe if the "dark money" flushed through south Irving by QueenB VDs Sugar Daddy donors of Irving Opportunity Council will have any bearing on his votes.

   Perhaps, someone could, as a precautionary measure, provide Riddle with the anti-venom to inoculate him from the queen’s behind the scene discussions and venomous private outburst.  This might even protect him from attacks by the Flying Harpy flock gathering on a FaceBook blog which has pledged fealty to the queen.

…………………………Mark Holbrook

Additional Council Meeting Chuckle: Joe Mapes, who is a director of Irving Opportunity Council, appeared to plead ignorance of "dark money" flushed in south Irving during the last election cycle.  If QueenB VD and her Sugar Daddy donors, to the "dark money" fund, are going to provide Mapes with talking points for council meetings, they should remove the comedy writers from the script writing process.

Very Sad Council Meeting Action:  QueenB VD attempted to cast a shadow of a doubt, on a speaker opposing the queen’s viewpoint, by questioning the ethics of the individual.  Coming from the queen, this was really preposterous, unprofessional and reaching for straws considering some of the actions and activities she has taken during her reign.