Monday, November 30, 2015

CCR 11-30-15 Final Gobble, Gobble

the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”

   To close out the season of gluttony indulgence, otherwise known as Thanksgiving, staff of the CCR has some good news for all its dear readers.

   While staff of the CCR was certain this day would surely arrive, this just capped off a great weekend.  You see, WFAA-TV in their "Texas Politics" program conferred on QueenB VD (Irving’s mayor) "2015 Turkey of the Year" award.  WOW!

   The queen is now finally recognized statewide for what many in Irving have know since the first day she was elected.  With perseverance, she managed to make ‘beautiful downtown Irving’ proud and on the map…in her image!  (Ugh!)

   Hopefully, the Irving Chamber of Commerce will host and sponsor a reception to document this momentous occasion and award…for QueenB VDs fruitful pursuit of  political malfeasance.  The chamber should break out the champaign flutes, pile on the shrimp and provide plenty of photo ops for member’s to pose with the queen.

   After all, the queen can always use a few more photos for her bulging album collection…as well as videos for her personal YouTube archived postings.

   Wondering who QueenB VD might recognize as assisting in achieving her "2015 Turkey of the Year" award, Dylan Westie, Executive editor/Part-time wordsmith and Social Media Troll for the CCR, managed to sneak into the queen’s office of self-absorption and narcissism at city hall.  He found the following notes she might use if the chamber does provide a reception:

QueenB VD: First, I would like to thank my Pet Rocks — Brad LaMorgese, Gerald Farris, Tom Spink and Oscar Ward — for voting (5-4) on the meaningless city council resolution in support of State HB 562 legislation which did not even move off the House floor.  This was the action which triggered all that would follow.  And my Pet Rocks paved the way to my deserved recognition.
   Of course, I am proud of Irving’s State representatives -- for prompting, promoting, pushing and pimping -- Rodney "Bogus-gate Complaint" Anderson and Matt "Squeaky" Rinaldi.  They were my guiding lights during this entire process.
   And who better to recognize and give credit than my faithful flock of Flying Harpies whose vituperative blog postings on Keep Irving Divisive (KID) never ceased when folks insinuated and documented I was on a wrong path.  They were vicious and unrelenting in their praise and postings of my ineptitude.
   (The harpies can now add WFAA-TV to their list — which includes the Dallas Morning News (along with staff members Avi Selk, Steve Blow, and the OpEd section), the Dallas Observer, and D Magazine — of those to browbeat, bully and make horrid comments about.)
   Finally, I must acknowledge the impact, of grand recognition, provided to me by Glenn Beck.  Without his tin foil hat-TV program for Red Meat TEA-carnivores, the sphere of my ridicule would not have reached epidemic proportions.  My desire is that one day my ego will be as large as Beck’s bloated persona.  He is such a good mentor and political buffoon. 
   And to all the peons and low information supporters of my realm…just wait, as I plan to reach even higher plateaus of political malfeasance in the future.  This is just the first of many similar awards I want to receive.  I’ve built a special mantle over the fireplace to showcase my statues and the "2015 Turkey of the Year" award will be prominent.

   Dylan was a tad nauseous, after discovering these notes.  Realizing QueenB VD actually believed she had been honored, he took to his tweeter account.  It appears Dylan summed up the entire "2015 Turkey of the Year" award with the following:


Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1 Nov 29
Congrats QueenB (Irving mayor). We knew you could do it. Awarded by WFAA-TV a 2015 Turkey of the Year Award. You really make Irving proud!

Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1
For Thanksgiving, Pres. Obama pardoned two turkeys...neither was QueenB (Irving mayor). Have fun watching her feathers molt during 2016.

   Perhaps, QueenB VDs next recognition will be for all the comments and activities she has generated in recognizing a few unsanitary visitors to the city.  In the file of her "2015 Turkey of the Year" award notes, Dylan observed additional jottings for the queen’s activities:

QueenB VDs Notes on Recognition of City Visitors and Events

*  Comments on Gun toting Froot Loops® protesting in front of Irving’s mosque: (crickets chirping)

*  Recognizing the Rally for City Unity in front of Irving’s mosque:  Oops, just have to finish my Black Friday shopping.  Gonna miss this photo op…thankfully.

*  Welcoming the "Grand Klan Lizard" to protest in front of Irving’s mosque December 12th:  Darn, another "scheduling conflict" will prevent my being available.  A photo op missed…this time with no regrets or comments.

   Yes, dear readers, the cold bite of winter will be nothing compared to the heat from the political maelstrom QueenB VD has created and fueled in ‘beautiful downtown Irving.’

   However, if one does believe in global warming, then the primary source is not cow flatulence, but the constant and self-aggrandizing blabbing and blathering of QueenB VD to her Red Meat TEA-carnivores.  Now, that’s real hot air and warming…served with documented fact fabrications!

……………………………..Mark Holbrook

Note:  The link for the WFAA-TV "Texas Politics" program where QueenB VD was honored with a "2015 Turkey of the Year" award is: