the Controversial Committee Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”
Today, Burger King® will announce their new menu item to recognize QueenB VD (Irving mayor) being honored by WFAA-TV (Dallas, TX) with one of their "Turkey of the Year" awards.
The new featured menu item will be called: The QueenB "I Can’t Believe It’s Not a Whopper" Burger.
The flame broiled burger will be made according to Burger King’s® high standards and sell for $5.50 each.
Patrons purchasing the new burger should also note Burger King® will be donating, for each burger sold, a portion of the profits to the following critical causes favored by the queen: $3.75 to the QueenB VD "Dark Money" political slush fund to use for future aspirations and political malfeasance; $1.70 will go to the Queen’s Party Fund for all refreshments required for Esters Rd. rallies, protest, demonstrations and marches caused by the queen’s actions related to State HB 562 and subsequent speaking tour to Red Meat TEA-carnivores; finally, $.05 will go to fund research to find a needed cure for NPD.
Thanks, Burger King,® for recognizing those issues near and dear to QueenB VDs heart.
Always on the ball, Dylan Westie, Executive editor/Part-time wordsmith and Social Media Troll for the CCR, paid an informant to secure the ingredients which will be used to make the special The QueenB "I Can’t Believe It’s Not A Whopper" Burger.
Here are the ingredients for the new burger:
* 2 lb. of ground Turkey made into a patty which has been infused with 6 oz. of ground beef to ensure Red Meat TEA-carnivores will be on board with purchasing.
* 1 lb. of Texas bull to recognize Glenn Beck’s contribution to the queen’s TV fact fabrications.
* 5 slices of bacon to assist the queen’s flock of Flying Harpies in keeping their Islamophobia on high alert.
* ½ Cup crushed Froot Loops® to tingle the taste buds, and sprinkled on the patty to accommodate all the queen’s gun toting protestors visiting the city.
* The Secret Sauce will be a mixture of mead and Kool-Aid® which has pureed bologna added to highlight the queen’s babbling, blathering and fact fabrications.
* All burgers will be served on a Stone Ground (honoring Pet Rocks who voted for State HB 562) white bun to ensure purchasers know what they are supporting.
* Each burger will be wrapped in a piece of white linen sheet, shaped like a tiara, which has the likeness of QueenB VD imprinted. This should really appeal to future sheet wearing visitors, of the queen, to the city!
Dylan also found out what the queen’s comments were when notified of the burger honoring her political malfeasance. QueenB VD stated, "Will I have to wear one of those humongous plastic heads for promotions and TV ads? You know how this would curtail my mane flipping…and make for terrible photo ops!"
Yes, the honors just keep piling up for QueenB VD…"Turkey of the Year" award and now a personalized burger. Where does it all end?
While no one know the time or place when the queen’s reign and royal coach will finally come to a screeching halt, denizens of ‘beautiful downtown Irving’ only wish they didn’t have to endure the burden of how QueenB VD has made the city the laughing stock to normally run cities throughout the USA.
And frankly, citizens of ‘beautiful downtown Irving’ do not want fries with any burger resembling the queen and the ridicule she has brought to BAIR on the city.
………………………………….Mark Holbrook
NOTE: For those interested in watching the WFAA-TV "Texas Politics" program, where QueenB VD was honored, click on the following link: http://www.wfaa.com/videos/news/politics/2015/11/29/inside-texas-politics-2015-turkey-awards/76526126/
