Sunday, October 23, 2016

CCR 10-23-16 WikiSeeps Dump #2

the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”

"WikiSeeps Dump #2"

   Well, dear readers, the WikiSeeps document dump to the CCR continues to provide an insightful look at what is happening in ‘beautiful downtown Irving’ under the reign of QueenB VD of the House of NPD and royal Court of WAB and Protectorate of Red Meat TEA-carnivores and Standard Bearer WIMP.

   As most already know, being mayor of the city is merely a stepping stone on the self-aggrandizing agenda of the queen.  Yes, she believes her mane needs to be flipped on a much larger political stage.  And with this in mind, she has injected into city politics what no other mayor in the city’s history has done — attempted to represent and force a particular national political affiliation while sitting on her throne in city hall!

   If her state/national political actions were personal and not in the media spot light, or on her multiple social media sites, then most would probably not be concerned.  However, when she flits around the countryside blathering and representing, particularly at Red Meat TEA-carnivore gatherings, as THE mayor of the city, then citizens and voters should be very concerned with this posing.  Her incessant spouting also indirectly infers the other eight city council members agree, support, or cling to this same myopic philosophy.

   To the subject at hand:  Always wanting to please those sycophants higher up on her political food chain, QueenB VD attempts to garner as much posterior smooching as possible to sate the disingenuous whims of like minded Red Meat TEA-carnivores.

   The second WikiSeeps document dump item in an e-mail, notes how she is wanting Texas Lt. Governor, Dan "The Loo Monitor" Patrick, to know that not only is she on his side of an abstract issue, but will use all her regal blathering and pseudo-authority to dictate and ensure Irving citizens and council members fall in line to kowtow to the Lt. Governor’s ridiculous drivel.

   As the following hacked e-mail, from one of the queen’s many personal electronic devices, demonstrates, she is attempting to score state-wide political points and inflict grievous distress on city hall employees and citizens of Irving.  
(hacked e-mail by WikiSeeps

TO: Lt. Governor Dan "The Loo Monitor" Patrick
FR:  QueenB VD, THE mayor of Irving  

Subj:  Finding Relief

Dearest Dan:

   You must know how strong my admiration is for all the work and time you spend on Texas issues that have nothing to do with running the State.  And be assured, this is the same model I utilize in Irving.  And this admiration includes all of your State time ‘Trumpeting for Trump’ once you fell off the Ted "Lizard Grin" Cruz train wreck-bandwagon.

   You latest disingenuous cause, of where and how folks would go to restrooms, is a topic near and dear to my heart.  After careful consideration, I have devised a plan which I intend to implement in Irving.  I personally feel this plan should be a model for State level considerations.

   I call my plan: "Go At Home, Or Don’t Go At All."

   This plan is very simple to understand…even for my low information supporters.

   QueenB VDs Potty Plan:  I will dictate that the Irving City manager remove all restrooms in city hall and any other city operated facility and install only one of the following personal-convenience facilities for use by employees, invited guests and visitors to the city. 

(City of Irving ‘One-seater’ Gender Neutral Facility)

   As you’ll note, my plan is simple, cost effective and will make all individuals want to use their personal bathroom facilities before going to work at city hall.  And for those with any recognized medical conditions, or perhaps indulging in some bad/four-day old, without refrigeration, sushi, the above ‘one-seater’ will be available for their use. 

    ‘One-seaters’ will also guarantee there will be no gender issues or privacy invasions for the state, or the city to consider or fret about.

   To be even more cost effective, my plan would also require that individuals provide their own tissue when using the city’s ‘one-seater.’  This step, alone, should make employees more cognizant of their personal hygiene needs…and my new dictates.  

   Can you image how many bucks the State could save if my plan was implemented state-wide?

   If you have any questions about my plan, let me know.  

   And if you are in our area anytime soon, please stop by city hall for an onsite visual of  the plan in action — from the outside of the ‘one-seater,’ of course.  And while you are here, I would like to have a ‘selfie’ with you so I can post it to all my social media sites.  You know the drill…the more photo ops posted, the more folks think you are doing something constructive and important. 

   Also, just consider the publicity garnered by you and me standing in front of the ‘one-seater’ to use in my next city election!  Those pics would reek PR.

Fond Admirer of You and Me,

   P.S.  As a plan side note:  If the lines outside the city’s ‘one-seater’ extend longer than two car lengths on the front lawn of city hall, then I’ll have the city manager install a second ‘one-seater’ based on usage for those who failed to understand "Go At Home, Or Don’t Go At All."

   And there you have it, dear readers…QueenB VDs three commas of Torofeca — posterior smooching of the Lt. Gov., penalizing city hall staff and visitors, and injecting Red Meat TEA-carnivore Alpo-dogma into city governance.  Hat trick!

   The list of cures for righting all the inerrant happenings in ‘beautiful downtown Irving’ continues to grow.  First on the list was to flush and remove the throne from the city hall chambers.

   The second healing balm would be to establish a litmus test and ensure any candidate running for mayor, in the next city election, realizes Irving elected officials should represent Irving citizens — not a national political party of Bozos…as has been the intent of QueenB VD.

   Irving political issues should concentrate on local matters — free of national political dogma — and address citizen desires and needs…as all previous mayors of the city have attempted.

…………………………………Mark Holbrook