Thursday, November 3, 2016

CCR 11-03-16 Translating the Torofeca

the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”

"Translating the Torofeca"

   Well, dear readers, many of you may not be aware, but Dylan Westie, Executive editor/Part-time wordsmith and Social Media Troll for the CCR, has been awful busy on his Twitter account.

   While a great many e-mail recipients of the CCR reports are not on Twitter, Dylan asked to share his latest batch of happenings from ‘beautiful downtown Irving.’  This should keep everyone in the loop…especially with a city election just around the corner.

   Here are Dylan’s attempts to translate what the uttering and blathering of QueenB VD might really mean for those who never purchased a Torofeca filter.
   (Hint: The all caps notations are the Dylan translations.) 

Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1 Oct 30
New Item: QueenB VD Snickers. Her own words quoted followed by Dylan’s observations in caps. When her words don’t seem to agree with reality. 1/ 2

Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1 Oct 30
QueenB VD Snicker: "I urged her to share with Trump the importance of engaging with local elected officials…"(I’M NOT ENGAGED. MY # IS __ ) 2/2

Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1 Oct 30
QueenB VD Snicker: "I don't expect everyone to agree with me." (SO, WATCH OUT WHEN YOU DON’T. I KEEP SCORE AND REMEMBER. UNDERSTAND!)

Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1 NOV 1
QueenB VD Snicker: "(name), only you could talk me into doing the runway walk!" (WHILE SHE FLIPS MANE AND POINTS TO EVERYONE PRESENT.)

Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1 Nov 1
QueenB VD Snicker: "…women’s accomplishments extremely humbling and inspiring." (WHAT DOES HUMBLE MEAN? SHE ASKS WHILE POSING FOR PHOTO OP)

Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1 Nov 2
QueenB VD Snicker: "That mindset of servant leadership…" (I SUBSCRIBE TO TREATING CITY HALL EMPLOYEES AS SERVANTS TO MY WHIMS. OBEY, NOW!)

   Once the national election is over, the mud has been cleaned off all the candidates, and a new political hierarchy hoses down the White House, Dylan will be devoting full-time efforts to ensuring voters recognize what needs to be accomplished in restoring civility and accountability  to ‘beautiful downtown Irving.’

   Dylan recently purchased a ‘dog-voice synthesizer’ which converts his ‘woofs’ into human sounds and words.  He plans to conduct daily robocalls to all registered Irving voters.  

   If folks thought the national election was mind-boggling, just wait until the 2017 Irving mayoral election starts growling!

……………………………….Mark Holbrook