Friday, April 1, 2016

CCR 04-01-16 Fools Holiday

the   Controversial  Committee   Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”

"Fools Holiday"

   Today, Dylan Westie, Executive editor/Part-time wordsmith and Social Media Troll for the CCR, is taking the day off to celebrate the holiday.  However, he did file the following ‘report.’

   As many know, Dylan treats April 1st as a holiday to ‘report’ on events which might otherwise not be made public, or receive proper coverage.  He takes this important action as many politicos are not believers in actual transparency of their activities as elected officials. 

   After reading Dylan’s report, one can understand why there is scant coverage of these events.  From his paw-pounding of the keyboard, he notes:


Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1   Apr 1
QueenB VDs highly secret agenda uncovered. All benefits accrue to her. Roosters, garbage, and Pet Rock rehab. (1 of 7)

Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1  Apr 1
QueenB VD dumps support for Ted "Lizard Grin" Cruz to actively campaign for Hillary "Almost Indicted" Clinton. Birds of a feather flocking?

Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1  Apr 1
Irving Opportunity Council donates all Dark Money collected to fund Herb Gears’ campaign for District 115 State representative seat.

Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1  Apr 1
QueenB VD demands Hackberry Creek HOA allow roosters and hens in backyards to permit millennials to eat healthy & save money.

Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1  Apr 1
New ordinance requires residential garbage be disposed in commercial dumpster located on homeowners driveway so trucks can back up & empty.

Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1  Apr 1
QueenB VDs single source developer, OliverMcMillan, begins construction of bull and cock fighting arena on old Texas Stadium site. Ole!

Dylan Westie @DylanWestie1  Apr 1
QueenB VDs primary & staunch Pet Rock, LaMorgese, enters rehab treatment center for her politically abused. Farris release tba May 7. 

   What is not stated in Dylan’s ‘report’ is: Be leery of what you hear or read today…it just might not be factual!  Or, for that matter, even true.  Have a great April 1st and don’t be a fool!

………………………………..Mark Holbrook

Ringtail Productions Limited
    LAWYER STUFF:  Dylan’s Ruffings, the Controversial Committee Report, ZAP! and the O-file are published by Mark Holbrook who everyone knows -- except for a couple apathetic slugs whose IQ equals their shoe size -- is Mike Howard.  Any reference to persons deceased is purely out of respect.  For those still living, draw your own conclusions.  Get in line if you want to sue or complain.  Better yet, call someone who might really care.  Letters written must meet at least one of the following criteria: humorous, cat kicking, or not libelous.  Simple requirements for simple readers...that’s our philosophy.  “Cool and the Geezer” is syndicated by Ringtail Productions Limited and all rights are reserved.  The CCR and ZAP! are printed and issued only when local political idiocy becomes laughable.  Permission is granted to copy, fax, or e-mail this report to a friend, associate, or someone you really don’t like.  The “candid” conversation reports have been injected with fabricated nouns, verbs, conjunctions, adverbs, modifiers and maybe a few dangling participles. All previous reports, butchered sacred cows and blog responses are posted at: 

First “cat kicked” in 1984       Contact:       April 1, 2016