the Controversial Committee Report
“We don’t raise sacred cows...we just butcher them.”
RICP: Stitch
There are to many A-hole drivers in Irving. They speed on residential streets, cut in front of cars, and drive so close to your rear bumper one thinks they will get dizzy from breathing your exhaust fumes.
Perhaps, the most egregious action taken by any of these mouth-breathing imbeciles (SUV and truck drivers primarily) is when they run over someones family pet, immediately keep driving, and leave the poor dead animal in the middle of the roadway. This action not only proves their recognized status as a complete A-hole, but reinforces their total lack of character for animals and pet guardians. Utterly disgusting!
Stitch was a black and white feral cat born and nurtured in the garage. She was one of five kittens (later four, as one died shortly after birth) that soon learned the “feral" nomenclature was not going to be totally accurate. Regardless, her pet guardians (in particular her human brother) provide terrific care and attention.
When Stitch developed a leg joint issue, Dr. Peterman, who was the family’s veterinarian, provided an excellent diagnosis, x-rays, medications, and follow through to help place her back on the road to recovery and non-limping.
As Stitch grew, the “feral” label soon faded, as she and her brother, Blackie, enjoyed the food dish, water, and litter boxes supplied for them in the garage. And during the winter months, a heated ‘house’ was set up for each to comfort their many overnight stays. Of course, there was plenty of scratching and petting to go along with their stays and daily activities around the house.
Since her birth in 2015, Stitch had been a welcomed addition to her guardians. While not as eager to learn tricks, or perform similar to her brother, Blackie, she was so cute and gentle, always friendly, and had a melodic meow which meant: “I really would like a treat now.” And believe, it was generally provided.
However, dear readers, once again the services of Pet Loss Center will be utilized to properly provide for the dignity of Stitch’s passing. Her ashes will be a remembrance of the joy she provided to her guardians. She is survived by siblings Blackie, Ostrich, and Penguin.
And to the A-hole driver who was responsible for killing Stitch, I hope our paths never cross.
……………………Mark Holbrook
Stitch and Dylan discussing patio sofa sleeping shifts.
Ringtail Productions Limited
LAWYER STUFF: Dylan’s Ruffings, the Controversial Committee Report, ZAP! and the O-file are published by Mark Holbrook who everyone knows -- except for a couple apathetic slugs whose IQ equals their shoe size -- is Mike Howard. Any reference to persons deceased is purely out of respect. For those still living, draw your own conclusions. Get in line if you want to sue or complain. Better yet, call someone who might really care. Letters written must meet at least one of the following criteria: humorous, cat kicking, or not libelous. Simple requirements for simple readers...that’s our philosophy. “Cool and the Geezer” is syndicated by Ringtail Productions Limited and all rights are reserved. The CCR and ZAP! are printed and issued only when local political idiocy becomes laughable. Permission is granted to copy, fax, or e-mail this report to a friend, associate, or someone you really don’t like. The “candid” conversation reports have been injected with fabricated nouns, verbs, conjunctions, adverbs, modifiers and maybe a few dangling participles. All previous reports, butchered sacred cows and blog responses are posted at:
@dylanwestie1
First “cat kicked” in 1984 Contact: markholbrook13@yahoo.com March 9, 2020
